This call is about is about reconnecting with our younger self and practicing real self-love. Today’s caller, Andrea, can’t get a guy out of her head. Is she following a pattern that started in her childhood?
If an ex is still taking up real estate within your head it’s probably not the person. There is something deeper within you that is begging for your attention and love.
In a relationship, we have to use discernment to know what is really a deep connection. Oftentimes, what we think is a deep connection is really infatuation and a positive projection. When we are getting to know someone we need to take off the rose-colored glasses. If you are feeling a deep connection to another person make sure you are also feeling a deep connection to yourself. Don’t get lost in the hormones of infatuation.
We must connect to the parts of us we have shamed or disowned and commit to having a more loving, nurturing relationship with ourselves.
Sometimes, we are scared of our own emotions but what about vulnerability? We don’t have to power through our emotions. It’s not weak to be vulnerable. It doesn’t make us a victim. Being vulnerable is incredibly courageous and powerful. Go slow, be with your emotions and be compassionate. So many of our emotions in our adult life stem from our childhood stuff. If we continue to power through our emotions we attract experiences that try to trigger them so we can finally feel them.
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- Is there an ex or anyone else that you have had a difficult relationship with and you can’t get them out of your head?
- Do you have the same kind of relationship patterns and the same results in relationships?
- When you were younger did you often feel bullied, duped, left out, or isolated?
- When you try to connect to younger parts of yourself do you feel silly? Do you find it hard? Is it difficult for you to do?
Andrea is looking for guidance as she tries to get an ex out of her head.
Andrea’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She hadn’t connected with someone so deeply before.
- She is looking for someone to grow with her.
- She doesn’t feel worthy of love.
- She was bullied as a kid.
- She judges herself.
- She feels disconnected from her younger self.
- She is nourishing her body with food instead of overeating.
How to get over it and on with it:
- She needs to nurture her younger self and tell her that she is capable of being loved.
- She needs to reconnect with the part of her that feels ashamed and alone.
- She should stop dating for a while.
- She should attend a Mastery course.
- She should check in with her little girl every day.
Assignments and Takeaways:
- Start a communication with the younger parts of yourself. Get a picture and talk and write to yourself.
- Take a pause from dating or doing things that reinforce the pattern that you want to break.
- If you can’t get over an ex, see it as an alarm that triggers you to pay attention to yourself.
- Sign up for my Mastery class coming up in May.
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