This call is about setting a balance between care-taking and nurturing, loving and empowering children. Today’s caller, Alexis, is feeling overwhelmed and guilty about how she deals with her daughter’s physical and emotional state. We talk through the tools that will help her navigate through the natural overwhelm.
Whenever we are faced with something that feels overwhelming or confusing, we may feel helpless. When it’s our stuff it’s hard, but when our child is suffering the helplessness is intensified. As a parent, we feel we are supposed to know how to take care of our children but when we are not sure what to do, it can be incredibly overwhelming.
When you address your child with compassion instead of taking on their suffering you go with them. This is where spiritual altitude comes in handy. It may feel like our children belong to us but they really belong to God, to the universe. They are souls having their own unique human experience.
On some level, your child chose you to be the perfect person to guide their experience and to help them with their soul curriculum. When you see them as a child of light you can shift your perspective to not see them as a victim. If you go too much into care-taking it disempowers them from using their own inner resources.
The healthier you are as an adult the healthier children you will raise.
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- As a parent do you feel a bit guilty about not being a good enough parent or about thoughts you have about your kids or yourself?
- Do you sometimes want to run away from being a parent and then beat yourself up about it?
- Do you have a child that is suffering from something physical or emotional? Is that suffering wearing you down?
- How do you parent yourself? Are you critical of yourself? If you were raising yourself right now, how are you doing?
- Do you relate to the things in your life as a victim or as a spiritual seeker?
Alexis wants guidance on how to be the best caretaker for her daughter who has a chronic condition.
Alexis’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- Her daughter’s condition requires a lot of financial support.
- She wants to be more available for her daughter.
- She wants to protect everyone’s emotions.
- She struggles with guilt and overwhelm.
- She reads to her daughter.
- Her children make her feel valuable.
- Her daughter is emotionally mature.
- She is not comfortable in dealing with negative emotions.
- She knows that guilt is useless.
- She realized she doesn’t need to have the answers.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to forgive herself for guilty feelings and remind herself she is doing the best that she can.
- She needs to write out her feelings and then tear it up.
- She should teach her daughter to express her emotions.
- When she feels the guilt, she should ask herself if it is a good use of her energy.
- She should stop seeing her daughter as a victim and nurture her courageous spirit.
Assignments For You:
- When something challenging is happening in your or your child’s life, take the big deal factor out of it.
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Have a temper tantrum or write a big ‘FU’ letter.
- Move into acceptance of your challenges and be a seeker and look for the lessons.
- As a parent, make sure you have your own release system for your emotions.
- Read empowering stories about people who have overcome similar challenges.
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