This call is about setting boundaries and taking care of your own needs. Today’s caller, Caitlyn, is having an expectation hangover about her engagement planning process. She is excited about her wedding but her family and friends don’t seem to be. This episode covers a lot of ground and we go really deep in this episode.

Being a caretaker can be a survival skill. Survival needs can be the need to feel loved, to feel valued and to feel like we belong. When one of our patterns is tied to those needs, it is really hard to release. Consciously, you may know it’s not healthy for you to be a caretaker and that you should set boundaries but unconsciously, there may be a part of you that wonders who will love you and how will you fit into your family if you stop care-taking others.

When your body is working hard to hold all of your suppressed emotions together it needs another outlet for release. Our third chakra, our energy center, is tied to personal empowerment. If you don’t have boundaries and allow other people to suck your energy, things will shift within the body to compensate. You can manifest a physical ailment when keeping emotional issues bottled up or by not feeling empowered.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there a current expectation hangover that is upsetting you and reminding you of something that happened in the past?
  • Do you relate to being a caretaker in your life? Are you afraid to stop taking care of others because you fear losing something?
  • Is it challenging for you to set boundaries? Do you say yes to things when you really mean no?
  • Do you over-compromise and sacrifice your own needs because it is easier than upsetting people?
  • Is there a prolonged physical condition you are dealing with that cannot be resolved?

Caitlyn’s Question:

Caitlyn wants to know why she is having so many expectation hangovers while she is planning her wedding.

Caitlyn’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She wants more support from friends and family about her wedding.
  • She has always been a planner.
  • She feels disappointed and hurt.
  • She was diagnosed with Ulcerative colitis at thirteen.
  • She didn’t want attention growing up.
  • She is manifesting her physical condition.
  • Her sister is also planning a wedding.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to not worry about other people’s upset.
  • She needs to say thank you to her illness for sending her the message.
  • She needs to start writing from her heart with release writing.
  • She needs to show herself compassion.
  • She needs to be OK with having attention focused on her.

Assignments For You:

  • If you are dealing with any type of expectation hangover, go back in time and ask yourself, “What does this remind me of?”
  • Do the ‘empty chair’ process at home.
  • Let things go through journaling and release writing.
  • Set and stand by your boundaries with people and let them be upset.


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If you constantly make yourself the last priority and continue to suppress your own needs your body may compensate physically. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet If some part of you has care-taking wired to survival, being a caretaker is the way you get love and validation. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet We form compensatory strategies early in life to help us feel safe, loved or worthy. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet