This coaching session is about a man who wants to foster a deeper emotional connection with his father. Nicholas and his father have a good surface relationship but he wants it to become more intimate. This session is a great example of how men (especially the younger generation of men) are really looking to break some old patterns of men not having to be emotionally connected.

If you are doing personal growth work you may be craving a deeper relationship with other people, especially a parent. The more you are connected to yourself the more connection you want with others But, it is also important to meet people where they are and to offer an invitation to a more emotionally intimate relationship.

It’s important, whether with our parent, spouse or friend, to work through our own wounding with that person before we try to have a deeper connection with them or before we talk with them. If we don’t the conversation will be too emotionally charged.

And, It is not our job to teach our parents but we do have an invitation to open a door to be a guide to vulnerability and consciousness as adult children are becoming generational pattern breakers.

A Note to Coaches — It is important to not jump straight to advice. It’s tempting to do but I encourage you to be more of an investigator than an advice giver. One of the most powerful questions to ask a client when they are talking about a shift or result they want is ‘Why do you want this?’ or ‘Why is this important to you?’ We assume a lot as coaches; it is important not to assume anything.

If you want to overcome and heal the issues that are be holding you back from truly enjoying time with your family and you want to do deep inner work to reframe your beliefs to get to a place of forgiveness, join me in March for my Signature Spring Retreat for women only. Email or visit Christine Hassler Spring Retreat. The Early Bird pricing discount ends Oct 1st, 2018.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there a parent you are longing for a deeper connection to?
  • Has doing personal growth work inspired more intimate conversations in most or all of your relationships?
  • Is emotionally bonding with your father more challenging than your mother?
  • Are you scared or nervous to attempt to shift a relationship because you may get shut down or rejected?

Nicholas’s Question:

Nicholas has been doing personal growth work and feels it is time to connect more deeply with his father.

Nicholas’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He spent a lot of time with his father in nature.
  • He never had an emotional or intimate connection with his father.
  • He wants to know himself more.
  • He used to self-medicate.
  • He didn’t feel his father was interested in his passions.
  • He is helping to bring healthy masculine into the world.
  • He hasn’t taken action on his desires.
  • He fears his dad will reject him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • He should acknowledge his father and share some of the personal growth work he has done.
  • He needs to have other men in his life that are available to him.
  • He needs to accept the way his father is even if he isn’t willing to change.
  • His divine assignment is to usher in more healthy masculinity.
  • He needs to release his attachment and come from a place of vulnerability and curiosity.
  • He needs to write out what a healthy father looks like and acts like to him.

Takeaways and Assignments:

  • When you are having a conversation with a man, do it while moving.
  • The best way to get someone to open up and to be vulnerable is to be vulnerable, ourselves.
  • Be curious and be patient, especially with parents or older persons.
  • Don’t take someone else’s unwillingness to discuss something personally.
  • If you are looking for a deeper connection to your father or father figure, write out what a healthy father looks like and use it as a roadmap.
  • If you would like additional support around masculinity, visit and The Mankind Project.


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When we are not connected to ourselves, it is hard to have intimacy with another. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Many people in their 20s, 30s and early 40s are becoming generational pattern breakers. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet No matter what age we are we always want from our parent what we never received. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet


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