This call is about self-love and overcoming self-induced judgments. Anneke calls in for guidance about how she can start being her true self. She vulnerably opens up about the fear that comes up when she compares herself to others and her feelings of loneliness. We cover a lot of ground in this session including how she can make a transition into full, authentic self-expression. This is the very first coaching episode of this podcast that originally aired on Oct 22, 2015.

Not being who we are can be suffocating and it causes us to do things that don’t create any kind of joy or fulfillment in our lives. We create conditions so we don’t have to show up fully because we are suppressing who we really are.

Often, what we think is protecting us, isn’t. The things you have created to protect yourself are not wrong. In fact, they have served you. So, as you break patterns and move more into the expression of who you truly are, thank them, come to peace with them. It never ceases to amaze me how just being honest and real with our true feelings creates shifts.

And, let go of the judgment about loneliness; it’s not being alone that makes you lonely, it’s what you tell yourself about being alone that makes you lonely.

Remember, we get to choose who we are and not being who we are can be suffocating. We are not defined by other people’s views of us. We are all born with natural gifts from the divine. It’s up to us to embrace them and use them.

To celebrate this podcast’s 3rd year anniversary, there is a contest to win a free one-on-one, 30-min PRIVATE coaching session with me. If you want to win, search for the Over It and On With It podcast on iTunes and leave a rating and review. Take a screenshot of the review and then enter your name, email and add the screenshot of the review on There are prizes for the 2nd and 3rd place winners, also.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel like you are really living authentically?
  • Are you fully expressing who you are or are you being a version of yourself?
  • Do you struggle with loneliness?
  • Are you in touch with your emotions?
  • Are you concerned about what other people think of you? Could it be stopping you from fully expressing yourself or making a choice in life?
  • Are you a people pleaser?

Anneke’s Question:

Anneke is about to make a big career change and would like to know how to be open and honest about who she really is and to shift from her pattern of keeping herself small and not seen.

Anneke’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She sugarcoats her difficult emotions.
  • She doesn’t want to be a burden on others.
  • Loneliness has been her friend because it’s when she gives herself a break.
  • It’s OK for other people not to like it when she is her authentic self.
  • Recognizing she is staying in her comfort zone because those emotions are familiar.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should take actions to trust yourself and be consistently authentic.
  • She shouldn’t compare herself to other people.
  • She should be willing to remember the essence of who she truly is.
  • Invite spirit into your space.
  • Practice self-forgiveness.
  • Don’t be defined by what other people have told you about you.

Assignments For You:

  • Write out who you are — what is your unique essence? Then, for 30 days get in front of a mirror and make “I am” statements with your answers.
  • Pick 2-3 people to practice intimacy and authenticity with.
  • Write this sentence: “Sometimes I pretend I am (fill in the blank) but I am not.”
  • Write a thank you letter to loneliness for giving you time alone.


Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram — If you want to be a guest on this show.

Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin? Podcast


The only way we start to believe we love ourselves is if we start treating ourselves with love and start trusting ourselves. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet The reason we feel alone, separated, or restricted is because we are suppressing who we truly are. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Do you want to use the natural gifts you were born with or do you want to be obsessed with what other people think? #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet



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