This call is about friendship and making friends as an adult. Today’s caller, Nicole, wants to move past a break up with a childhood friend and make trusting, intimate connections and friendships in her adult life. As adults, we have more communication strategies but we also have longer stories about what we judge as not good enough. This episode highlights the opportunities that present themselves when we feel, deal, and heal the imprints from our past.
If you are having difficulty making close, deep, and intimate friends, it isn’t about the city you live in or that you are doing personal transformation work, or that you don’t have enough time. It’s because of the belief systems and old wounds you have in place.
Once you feel, deal, and heal you will naturally attract more conscious, intimate friendships. But, you have to be willing to put yourself out there.
Sometimes, friendships can be placed last on our priority list and that is a massive mistake. Because friendships are the foundation for everything else. Good friendships offer support when we are going through challenges in our intimate relationships, challenges with our partner, children, or blood-related family members. Friends can be a safe space where we can land when we need support. So, don’t put friendship last. Make time for your friends and make time for making new friends.
One of the easiest ways to go out and meet like-minded people is to put yourself in places and situations where you can meet them like my Spring Retreat. It’s a great opportunity to meet like-minded people.
If you missed last week’s Coaches Corner on Tips for Dealing with Loneliness this Holiday Season give it a listen and subscribe so you don’t miss this Saturday’s Love, Dating, and Relationship episode featuring Stef Sifandos. If you would like your questions answered, email [email protected].
- Do you have an old wound from a childhood friend or from being bullied that you are still carrying around?
- Have you completely lost sight of your fun and creative childhood? Have you gotten too serious?
- Have you given one person from your past too much power over you?
- What kind of friend are you to yourself? If you talked to your friends like you talk to yourself would you have any friends?
Nicole wants guidance on how to bring friends into her life she can trust.
Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She experienced a break-up with her best friend of 10 years.
- She believes she will be hurt by people she lets into her life.
- She doesn’t feel safe with other people.
- She would like more playfulness in her adult life.
- She suppresses her emotions.
- She obsesses about her previous friendships.
- She severed her ties with her creative self.
- She is tired of being a professional grown up.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to do the empty chair process from Expectation Hangover.
- She needs to write her past friend a letter about how she feels using ‘I’ language.
- She should revisit the emotional and mental sections of the Personal Mastery Course.
- She should work through her limiting beliefs.
- She should write down a description of what kind of friend she is, the kind of friend she wants to be, and then become that kind of friend to herself.
- She needs more play and silliness in her life.
Takeaways For You:
- Join my Personal Mastery Course to meet like-minded people and to start creating your soul family.
- Get to your ouchy, deeper belief about not being enough and find evidence to prove your limiting belief is not true.
- Do projection work. Look at the qualities you display when you are with your friends and bring those qualities forward in your life.
- If there is someone from your past that hurt you, write them a letter expressing your feelings. Send it or keep it for yourself.
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