This call is about breaking patterns, shifting identities, and looking at life from a spiritual perspective. Today’s caller, Betsy, has done some therapy but can’t seem to shift her story. During our discussion, we uncover that Betsy is basing too much of her identity on her past and with people who weren’t meant to play such a big role in her life.

So many of us are addicted to suffering. Why? Because it’s a comfort zone, it’s familiar, it’s what we know. It’s perpetuated by our limiting beliefs and on some level, we think we are supposed to be suffering. And, we hang on to our addiction to suffering because it gets us love and attention. Or, at least we think it does. Do you think you need to earn the good things in your life?

The main reason for going back and reflecting on your past is so we understand why we think, feel, and behave the way we do. Not to blame your past or to try and go back and change it. Your past doesn’t define you. If you grew up feeling scared, rejected, and unloved, it does not mean you have to feel that way now or in the future. It has nothing to do with your identity.

My next Spring Retreat in San Diego is taking place on March 15 – 17.  If you want to feel physically lighter, emotionally free of sadness, worry, and anxiety, mentally clear and accepting and confident of your body go to or email to save your spot.

And, I will be conducting a Retreat for Men, Women, and Couples on the magical island of Maui! Spots are limited for this intimate gathering. There is an application for this retreat; visit or email for more information.

Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you ever struggle with depression but you mask it well by doing, doing, doing?
  • Are you more comfortable in the masculine energy of doing, doing, doing? Do you really like control?
  • Have you ever felt unwanted? Were you an accident, adopted, or abandoned as a child?
  • Did you grow up with an absent parent and you didn’t feel protected?
  • Have romantic relationships been a challenge for you?

Betsy’s Question:

Betsy would like guidance on how to get over her childhood trauma.

Betsy’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She’s done therapy.
  • Her past is still alive in her present.
  • She saw her mother being abused.
  • Her mother passed away.
  • She feels more comfortable in her masculine.
  • She’s afraid to trust.
  • She’s recently dropped physical and emotional weight.
  • She deals with depression.
  • She has had bad examples of men in her life.
  • She feels unwanted.
  • She felt she had to be emotionally numb to survive.
  • She will be perceiving her life differently.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to lean into her feminine energy, trust, and vulnerability.
  • She needs to shift her survival identity to a soul curriculum-based identity.
  • She needs to realize she was meant to be here.
  • She doesn’t need to prove herself to be worthy or lovable.
  • She should write her mother letters.
  • She should join my Personal Mastery Course and attend my Spring Retreat.
  • She should trust and express her emotions.


  • Look at your life from a spiritual perspective. Things are happening for you and not to you.
  • Consider the things in your past and think about why you chose them.
  • Is there someone in your life you are giving more power to than you should be?
  • Repeat this affirmation — “I’m enjoying life and I belong here.”


GREEN CHEF — Want fast, easy, deliciously healthy meals delivered to your door? Green Chef offers meal plans to fit every type of lifestyle including paleo, keto, omnivore, and more. Recipes are quick and easy and come with step-by-step instructions, Chef tips, and photos. Save yourself a trip to the grocery store and get flavorful recipes with pre-made sauces, dressings, and spices. To get $50 off your first box by Green Chef go to


Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram — Have feedback about this podcast?


The truth feels a lot better than the lies we tell ourselves. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet From a soul perspective, there is no right or wrong. There is only what we learn from it. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet What do you think are the things you are here to learn in this lifetime? #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet