This episode is about self-judgment and overwhelm and how to nourish yourself through it. Today’s caller, Luca, is on a mission to make wellness accessible to others but has a pattern of starting a project and then stopping. As soon as he gains momentum he feels unworthy of his progress so he judges and criticizes himself, stopping him in his tracks. How do we stop sabotaging behavior?

It can be really easy to get overwhelmed if you think you are not enough. If you think you are an imposter or don’t have what it takes. Of course, it will feel overwhelming because you don’t believe you can do it.

Sometimes feeling overwhelmed is a disguise for insecurity. But if you come at it from a place of self-acceptance, self-acknowledgment, and true pride it won’t feel so overwhelming. Your power is in how you treat yourself. Have compassion for when your inner judger comes up and consider speaking to yourself with a little more encouragement.

If you combine encouragement with being proud of yourself when you take action steps it will be easier to keep momentum and in the future, the judger won’t come up as much. Because you won’t be taking action from a place of not-enoughness. You will be taking action from a place of pride.

The most important thing you can do is to give yourself self-care when you feel burnt out or overwhelmed. We human beings put way too much on our plate. Life is more complicated and complex than it has ever been. We are infiltrated with information and input more than ever before. We need breaks. It is very important to give yourself a break before overwhelm overload takes hold. You have to build in self-care and rest into your routine.

Start believing in yourself!

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have a ‘start, stop’ pattern? Do you tend to gain momentum on things or have great ideas but then something happens to stop it?
  • How are you at self-care? When you do take a break from work do you nourish yourself?
  • Did you have a parent that was judgmental or critical? Have you internalized that parent?
  • Do you ever deal with overwhelm? Especially when it comes to taking action steps toward your dreams?

Luca’s Question:

Luca would like to move past his pattern of getting excited about and starting a project and then giving up on it quickly.

Luca’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He hides away when he feels stressed or unhappy.
  • He doesn’t nourish himself when he takes a break.
  • He rebels and judges himself for it.
  • He felt judged by his parents.
  • He internalized the judgment his father placed on him.
  • He lacks self-worth.
  • He has been sending love secretly to his father.
  • His survival strategy is judgment.
  • He has taken huge steps to be his true self.
  • He is looking for relief from judgment.
  • He has a hard time taking consistent actions.
  • His passion is in wellness.
  • He is going to dedicate time to self-nourishing practices.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • He needs to have compassion for himself.
  • He needs to shift how he is with himself when he takes a break.
  • He needs to acknowledge how well he is doing.
  • He needs to leverage his survival skills.
  • He needs to encourage himself.
  • He needs to enjoy moments and his process more.


  • When you give yourself a break, is it a breakdown or are you consciously putting breaks in your to-do list so you can regenerate your energy?
  • If you have a strong inner judger, examine whose voice it is and instead of criticizing, treat it with compassion.
  • Think of the things you really wanted to hear from the parent you wanted approval from. Write down all the things you wanted to hear and say those things to yourself.
  • Be a cheerleader for yourself. Be proud of yourself. Acknowledge yourself.


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Whenever we are pursuing a goal we are really chasing a feeling, not the result. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet At a very young age we develop survival and compensatory strategies we think we need to stay alive. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet People can only love and apologize to the degree that they’ve loved and forgiven themselves. #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet