EP 189: How to Feel Happier with Patrick

This episode is about how to feel happier but the real question is what to do with sadness, sorrow, or melancholy when it comes up, especially if it comes up for you on a regular basis. Today’s caller, Patrick, is a vocal artist who is committed to his personal development work but is finding happiness elusive. We work through why being “happy” all the time may not be what he should be striving for and how much of his sorrow may not be his own.

As we continue to evolve as humans, those of us who have said yes to waking up and healing will have moments when we face challenges and have difficulty sitting in uncomfortable emotions.

And, when it comes to personal development, there shouldn’t be any goals, only intentions. Your intention should be to work with whatever is coming up in your life. Are you consuming a lot of information that is moving you toward personal growth? Realize that having a lot of awareness can lead you to be harder on yourself.

Personal growth is a process. It’s not as if we have an awareness and then — boom — everything changes. Acknowledge your progress in your process of evolution.

Happiness should not be a goal. Don’t make your sadness go away. Part of being an artist, a highly-sensitive person, or a creator is that you can feel a large range of things. Suppressing and numbing your feelings means you are suppressing and numbing your gifts.

It’s good to have a wide range of feelings but shift how you relate to them. When it comes to feelings, we want to be ‘technical’ but we don’t want to control them.

How we are ‘technical’ with emotions is we don’t suppress them or get lost in them. We don’t let them take over our lives. The best technical approach to feelings is to greet them with compassion.

Instead of approaching sadness with ‘How do I make it go away?’ approach it with ‘Hello, sadness, what message do you have for me?’ Imagine yourself welcoming your negative feelings to see what message they have for you.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have a certain emotion you hate and are trying to make it go away?
  • Do you relate to being an artist? Are you a performer, musician, or creator of some kind?
  • Are you a highly sensitive person? Do you know when you are feeling your own emotions or someone else’s?
  • How did your parents express emotions? Did they repress them or were they emotionally expressive? Do they influence how you express emotions?

Patrick’s Question:

Patrick would like guidance on how to stop feeling sadness and start feeling happier.

Patrick’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He is struggling with developing a sustainable singing career.
  • His identity is attached to success.
  • He is committed to his personal development.
  • He feels sorrowful much of the time.
  • He feels a wide range of things.
  • He has been in therapy.
  • He meditates.
  • He is afraid of staying in his emotions.
  • His mother took a lot of emotional space.
  • He may be a personal growth junkie.
  • He has a lot of self-love.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • He needs to learn to relate to his sorrow in a different way.
  • He needs to realize much of his sorrow may not be his.
  • He needs to greet his sorrow, talk with it, and release it.
  • He should listen to Over it and On With It episode #186 with Megan.
  • He needs to increase his self-compassion.


  • Is there an emotion you are avoiding? Have you gone into it with compassion or only analysis?
  • Could you be taking on other people’s emotions?
  • Embrace the emotional side of you and honor yourself with self-compassion.
  • Consider joining my Mastery course for monthly group coaching and the one-day retreat.


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Intuition doesn’t come with fear and anxiety. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Suppressing and numbing feelings is the same as suppressing and numbing your gifts. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Whenever we go into our emotions with the intent to fix them, they just recycle. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet


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