EP 194: Use Your Voice and Speak Your Truth with Amber

This call is about speaking your truth by creating a safe container for it first. Today’s caller, Amber, is triggered by uncomfortable conversations and ignores or flees from them. This call is much more than just encouraging Amber to start speaking up. We explore why she is afraid of speaking up. You will relate to this call if it is hard for you to speak your truth, stand up for what you need, or to have difficult or confronting conversations.

When it comes to repetitive patterns of not speaking up or running away from conflict, there’s often a lot involved that creates them but they always serve a purpose. And that purpose usually has to do with safety. For example, a pattern of worst-case-scenario thinking or waiting for the other shoe to drop, even though the patterns can be really upsetting and produce a lot of anxiety, the core is that it is attempting to keep you safe. It’s a protective pattern to think about what is the worst that can happen. People believe if they imagine the worst they will be prepared.

The leaving pattern is when a person finds safety in checking out or disassociating. They may leave a conversation, ignore a conversation completely, or check-out with food. The leaving pattern tends to emerge when someone has a womb or birth experience that makes them feel like it is not safe to be in the world.

The leaving pattern also includes judging or criticizing themselves more than anyone else would which is another attempt to keep themselves safe. Often, people who have a leaving pattern need a little more space.

People who have this pattern are normally connected to the spirit world, through meditation or nature. For them, physical reality and other humans can be overwhelming.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have trouble using your voice and speaking your truth?
  • Do you tend to run from or avoid any kind of challenging or confronting conversations?
  • Did you have a parent who taught you directly, or indirectly that it was better to withhold or not share things in order to keep the peace?
  • Do you tend to dissociate or check out of your body? Are you happier in your spiritual world than you are in your physical world, reality?

Amber’s Question:

Amber has a hard time using her voice and flees from uncomfortable conversations and would like guidance on how to speak her truth.

Amber’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She ignores tough conversations.
  • She doesn’t share how she feels.
  • She’s been doing the same thing since childhood.
  • She was a rapid birth.
  • She dissociates with her physical self.
  • She gets triggered when she is uncomfortable.
  • Her mother was secretive and never shared her voice.
  • She always wants to be the chill person.
  • She is afraid of judgment and criticism.
  • She gets uncomfortable just thinking about being vulnerable.
  • She is a conscious person.
  • She used to write her thoughts down and it helped her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to establish a sense of safety within herself by having body work done.
  • She needs to perform physical support techniques to feel more into her body.
  • She needs to slow down her movement and her life, in general, to calm her nervous system down.
  • She needs to say ‘I’m safe’ to herself.
  • She needs to create a safe container by journaling or writing down all the things she wants to say.
  • She should start speaking up in low-risk situations.
  • She should join my Personal Mastery Course.
  • She should eliminate personal judgment and criticism of herself.


  • Consider if you relate to the leaving pattern and if you know about your womb or birth experience?
  • If you don’t relate to the leaving pattern, the feeling of safety is huge for all of us; remember to slow down and ground yourself.
  • If you are going to start speaking your truth or having vulnerable conversations, create guidelines or a safe container for it.


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Sometimes the pattern of avoiding confrontation can be tied to our in-utero or birth experience because some part of our psyche doesn’t feel safe in the world. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet We often don’t consider the cost associated with giving up a protective survival pattern. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet When it comes to repetitive patterns or running away from conflict, the patterns always serve a purpose and the purpose has to do with safety. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

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