This episode is about becoming free from pursuing external things to make us feel happy, validated, or loved. Today’s caller, Kristen, grew up in a household where her accomplishments were perceived as her value. During the call, we identify what is keeping her from moving forward to pursue her calling. And, work through ways she can overcome her fear of uncertainty.
Anytime we are making a big or drastic change away from perceived safety and security or the status quo, into something that truly matters to us, there is going to be uncertainty because we are stepping into a whole new way of being.
Whenever we fear we won’t be successful at something it’s not the failure we fear, it is how we may be seen if we fail. While we may fear the financial ramifications of failure, we fear the emotional ramifications much more. The judgments from others and the judgment of ourselves are what we truly fear. So, we avoid taking risks in the direction of our dreams to avoid a future fear and to avoid our future ruthless selves. How we overcome that is to find something we fear even more.
Now, I am not a fan of fear or using fear as a motivator because it is the opposite of faith. However, to avoid being paralyzed by fear we sometimes have to move to a bigger fear that inspires us or pulls us forward. When we are pulled forward then we can move onto the energy of inspiration which is a much closer frequency to faith and love than fear.
At the deepest, truest level we all want to be seen. We all want to be seen and loved as the truth of who we are — whole, worthy enough, and divine. No amount of success, accolades or material accomplishments are going to make you feel like you belong or are worthy or loved.
You don’t have to do anything to be worthy.
- Are you a planner? Do you take great comfort or identify with having everything in order?
- How are you with uncertainty? Do you prefer control?
- Were you raised in an environment where accomplishments and accolades were praised or were you pressured to be successful?
- Is there a career change you want to make or a calling you want to pursue but fear is keeping you from doing it?
Kristen is in a transitional phase and would like guidance on how she can follow through to pursue her calling.
Kristen’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She’s afraid to take a leap to start her new career.
- She has a newborn baby.
- She worked in the corporate world for 15 years.
- She wasn’t fulfilled working in Human Resources.
- She’s attending the Institute of Integrated Nutrition.
- She’s an organized persona and a planner.
- She is great at relationship building.
- She went through a materialistic phase.
- She has a ‘look at me’ pattern playing out in her life.
- She wants a career that aligns with her personal interests.
- Her parents focused on how she was perceived by other people.
- She is in a period of re-orientation of how she is seen in the world.
- She is scared to go back into a career she wasn’t happy in.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She has to accept that there will be uncertainty whenever a change is made.
- She needs to make a profile of her ideal avatar.
- She needs to allow herself to try different things and to make mistakes.
- She should get a coach who coaches coaches.
- She needs to understand that her worth or value doesn’t come from what she does.
- Look at the story you grew up with on what it means to be successful.
- Are you still living into the belief systems of society or your parents rather than finding your truth and living accordingly?
- Know that how you have done things in the past may not be the best way to do them in the future. Where can you give up the control and the planning and take co-creative action?
- Where can you take a step in your life where you don’t have complete certainty?
- Pay attention to the simple things in life.
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Tweetables:When we are called to a new calling, we are also called to look at who we truly are versus who we’ve become. Click To Tweet One of the reasons we don’t take risks in life is because we are afraid of how others will perceive us. Click To Tweet Are you still pursuing external things to fill a void or because that is what you think makes you worthy? Click To Tweet