This episode is about releasing shame about health issues and accepting ourselves without judgment. Today’s caller, Amber, was not nurtured as a child when she had an illness or injury. She has carried shame and unworthiness into her adult life. We discover that healing opportunities are available to her if she stops fighting and accepts them.
This call is a beautiful example of what happens when we talk about something we have kept inside. Shame is perpetuated by secrecy. One of the keys to healing any kind of shame is to bring it into the light and to talk about it with people who can accept it.
It doesn’t mean we just talk about our deepest, darkest moments with everyone or on Instagram. It’s really about knowing that there are people who are safe and that we can trust and that we don’t have to keep everything inside specifically when it comes to health concerns or anything we feel insecure or ashamed about.
Because that unconsciously perpetuates that there is something wrong and that we shouldn’t talk about it. The more we bring something out into the light, the more it reinforces in our subconscious mind that it is OK and that we don’t need to be ashamed.
If you don’t learn from problems then they don’t go away. Things keep coming back into our lives until we learn what they are attempting to teach us. But it’s not 100%. Sometimes there are physical things we have to deal with. It helps if we get an emotional growth opportunity but you shouldn’t think you are suffering because you haven’t “learned the lesson.” I believe a lesson for all of us to learn about something when we are suffering is acceptance.
A romantic relationship can trigger all of your unresolved issues and you can end up dating someone who is just like your unavailable parent but at the same time relationships can give us an incredible healing opportunity.
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- Is there something you are keeping inside? Is there a secret or a health concern you don’t talk about?
- Growing up, how did your parents deal with you when you got sick? How does that impact how you deal with yourself when you are unwell or in pain?
- Do you ever struggle with issues of deservingness when it comes to a relationship or career, or financial abundance?
- How are you in nurturing yourself when you have health concerns or when you are in pain?
Amber struggles with sharing her health issues with others and gives her power away when she does confide in doctors.
Amber’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She has had health issues for an extended period.
- She doesn’t speak up for herself and feels disempowered.
- She has a hard time asking for what she wants.
- She doesn’t want to stand out.
- She was made to feel ashamed of her health problems.
- Her health problems serve her in some way.
- She has competing intentions.
- She feels useless about how to overcome her problem.
- She feels unlovable.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to give herself the love, attention, and nurturing she didn’t get from her parents.
- She needs to use her spouse as a mirror and treat herself like her spouse does.
- She needs to speak up when a doctor says something that doesn’t resonate with her.
- Accept and stop fighting what is. Release the judgments.
- Be more nurturing with yourself.
- If you have someone in your life that just wants to love you, please stop pushing it away.
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Tweetables:Things continue to get worse until you learn the lesson. Click To Tweet Things come up again in severe ways when we have people in our life, the tools, and the willingness to shift. Click To Tweet If you have someone in your life that just wants to love you, please stop pushing it away. Click To Tweet