This episode is about self-acceptance. Today’s caller, Jessica, is longing for a relationship but doubting it will ever happen. She is having a hard time accepting herself and her current relationship status. This is a great call to listen to no matter what your relationship status because so much of what we talk about is about self-acceptance and self-compassion.

As children, we believe our parents are supposed to love us unconditionally. When one or more parent isn’t there, it messes with our minds and consequently our dating.

Single ladies, if you have had a series of unfulfilling relationships or bad experiences dating, it can lead to some nasty beliefs. Sometimes we make up stories about why we are not in fulfilling relationships such as there aren’t any available men. Our external reality is often a mirror of our internal experience.

There is the caveat in that the places we are looking for partners may not be right. When we make blanket statements about all men are a certain way or we say ‘I’m not in a relationship because of x, y, z, we blame our situation on something external. We need to have a reality check and ask ourselves ‘why is this my situation?’

It’s important to have compassion for yourself. Instead of constantly trying to solve the problem and fix yourself, understand what the core issue is and have massive compassion for yourself. Let the timelines and age pressure go because it does not help. There is nothing good that comes from that. It’s just part of the messed up way we relate to age in our culture. Be grateful you have more wisdom.

There is no reason you can’t have what you want but getting what you want is often postponed until you get to a place internally where you don’t need it to be worthy, safe, or loved.

There are only four spots left for the new Be the Queen course. Stefan and I help you to call in the relationship of your dreams because you deserve it. To fill out the application and get VIP access go to ChristineHassler.com/bethequeen.

Or, to release self-sabotage, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose — Ladies, be a part of my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. There is an Early Bird discount. Go to ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you currently single or unhappy with your relationship status and are beginning to lose hope?
• Do you have an ex who hurt you or has said one thing and done another?
• Did you have a parent that was emotionally unavailable or inconsistent?
• Are you the kind of partner to yourself that you would like your current or future partner to be to you?

Jessica’s Question:

Jessica is having a difficult time accepting her current reality of being single at 40 yet wanting a husband and family.

Jessica’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She is 40-years-old and single.
• Her past relationships have been with emotionally unavailable men.
• Her father was impatient and angry.
• She was afraid of her father but constantly craved his love.
• She feels she is a good person.
• She puts pressure on herself and feels as if she is not enough.
• She feels that she has to defend her singleness.
• She feels she needs to do things to earn love.
• She finds dating difficult.
• Humor, intimacy, communication, and adventure are important attributes for her partner.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• She needs to have compassion for herself and accept herself for who she is.
• She needs to have gratitude that she didn’t get married or start a family with someone.
• She needs to decrease her stress level.
• She should go through Expectation Hangover and do the inner work.

Takeaways:

• Apply to Be the Queen.
• Find the core wound that is dictating why you are having recurring experiences. Take a look at Expectation Hangover and look into my Personal Mastery course.
• Be clear about what you want and then surrender.
• Make a list of all the BS limiting beliefs you have about your current love life and reframe them so you stop attracting more of what you don’t want.
• Look within instead of looking for someone out there to make you feel better.

Partners:

Better Help — allows you to connect with a professional, licensed counselor or therapist in a safe and private online environment. You can change counselors anytime with no additional charge. Over It and On With It listeners receive 10% off their first month by using discount code ‘Overit’.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback

Waitlist@ChristineHassler.com — Get on the waitlist for this show

Tweetables:

Has your wounded inner child been choosing your partners? Maybe, it’s time to let your grown-up woman self start choosing them. Click To Tweet The better partner you are to yourself the better partner you draw in. Click To Tweet There is NO reason you cannot have everything you want. Click To Tweet