This episode is about releasing your inner overachiever and fully feeling your emotions. Today’s caller, Quigley, has a pattern of overachieving and being a bit of a perfectionist. This pattern has served her and made her successful in many ways but deep down she feels unfulfilled and guilty. It is amazing how patterns and personality structures can take control of our lives. In this call, I share tools and techniques you can use if you relate to having similar traits.

The first steps to healing are having awareness and feeling your emotions. I often say feel, deal, and heal. The first part is allowing yourself to feel emotions around what is holding you back. The second part is dealing with the issue. This is a good time to make use of a coach, program, or some kind of structure that gives you the tools and resources to feel your emotions, forgive the belief, and start putting new beliefs in place. The last part is to heal. We start the healing process when we start taking new action steps.

A lot of us wear the ‘I’ve got it all together’ mask. We may dabble in vulnerability but we don’t allow ourselves to take off the mask because we are scared. We are scared that everything is going to crumble. But if we want to move the needle on the soul line we have to let go of the control. We have to let go of doing so we can slip into self-acceptance.

Remember, being a spiritual person doesn’t just mean you meditate and everything is flowing ‘airy-fairy.’ Spirituality is also embracing our shadow and allowing ourselves to feel feelings we may not want to feel.

To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. Go to or email

If you are in Australia and interested in attending my Creating a Vision for 2020 Breathwork and Lifework event on January 5th, 2020, go to for more details.

Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you an overthinker? Do you put a ton of pressure on yourself to make decisions?
  • Are you a perfectionist with super high standards for yourself?
  • Do you go and do so much that when you drop it leads to a depressive state?
  • Are you outwardly successful but inwardly unfulfilled?


Quigley’s Question:

Quigley has anxiety when it comes to making decisions; she would like guidance on how to be OK with where she is.


Quigley’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has a perfectionist pattern that is forming an identity.
  • She was determined to be the best by overachieving.
  • She is extremely successful in her career.
  • She has difficulty appreciating what she has achieved.
  • She believes herself to be a spiritual person.
  • She felt shame and humiliation for bad press from mass media.
  • She feels pressure to maintain a certain image.
  • She holds herself back because she is afraid of shame.
  • She has extreme ups and downs.
  • She is addicted to her work and success.
  • She feels guilty about how much she has.


How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to detach from success.
  • She needs to practice the temper tantrum technique from Expectation Hangover.
  • She needs to suffer into her depression and allow her emotions to come out.
  • She needs to be OK with not being perfect.
  • She needs to practice making easy decisions by choosing the first thing to come to her mind.
  • She needs to allow her inner overachiever to take a break.



  • Try making a solo decision-making pledge. For one week make quick decisions on your own.
  • Journal, in the present tense about a time that was traumatic or significant in your life.
  • Talk to the perfectionist part of you and thank it for protecting you.



LOLA — offers a modern approach to feminine care that is for women by women. It is the best way to get 100% organic cotton tampons, pads, and other products you can feel good about delivered to your home. Lola products are free of chemicals, fragrances, or dyes. Go to to customize your subscription and use the code ‘OVERIT30’ to get 30% off your first month’s subscription.



Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to

Christine’s Personal Mastery Course

Christine’s Signature Retreat

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books, including Expectation Hangover

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram — To provide feedback — Get on the waitlist for this show



There is what happens to us, what we make it mean, and then the beliefs we form based on what happened. Click To Tweet Spirituality is about realizing we are a spiritual being having a human experience. Click To Tweet The voices that attempt to protect us from fear, uncertainty, humiliation, and rejection are much louder than our intuition. Click To Tweet