EP 229: Breaking the Cycle of Numbing with Charmaine

This episode is about finding the tools to help you better deal with trauma and breaking the cycle of numbing. Today’s caller, Charmaine, has had multiple traumas in her life and uses marijuana as a coping strategy. But this isn’t a call about stopping marijuana use. When discussing any type of addiction or numbing device, you have to uncover the deeper issue.

From my point of view, we can’t deal with addiction effectively unless we deal with the core issue that is creating the addiction or coping strategy. Most addictions are coping strategies for when we didn’t have the tools to deal with the drama and trauma that’s happened in our life. Addiction to anything is a symptom of a deeper issue.

When we speak of addiction, we often just think of drugs and alcohol but there are so many other things we use as coping and numbing strategies that become addictions. Sex, gaming, gambling, food, and even things like work, falling in love, and caretaking. Basically, anything we use to get us out of feeling our pain and feeling our big feelings is a coping strategy that can turn into an addiction.

Because the way coping strategies work, is you have to keep upping the ante. The feelings get bigger and bigger and then it takes more energy to suppress them. And, there is not much of a difference between emotional, mental, and physical addiction. Because mental and emotional pain is most likely the cause of physical addiction.

If you feel like you are addicted to something worse than marijuana, know that you can get to the other side of it and that judging yourself will not get you anywhere. It won’t get you to stop being mean to yourself. The part of you that is reaching out for the coping strategy needs love and compassion. It needs to be healed. You probably developed your coping strategy because you had no better tools.

Remember, there is not one style of therapy or coaching that is better than others. It’s about what feels right to you. When it comes to working with any therapist or coach it’s either a ‘hell yeah’ or ‘hell no’! Better tools are available but know that it requires facing your feelings and some of the demons you buried a long time ago.

To release self-protective behaviors, heal past pain, and reclaim your confidence, peace, power, and purpose, attend my Spring Retreat in San Diego, March 6th–8th. To accelerate your growth and invest in yourself visit ChristineHassler.com/spring-retreat or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • When it comes to feeling your pain, do you actually feel it or do you numb or distract yourself?
  • Did you have parents who were super present and attentive?
  • Have you done things you are ashamed of?
  • Are you addicted to a substance or numbing technique like pot, alcohol, caretaking, overworking, or food?

Charmaine’s Question:

Charmaine used marijuana to help her cope during a difficult time but would like to stop but doesn’t know how.

Charmaine’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She was in the military for 13 years and in an unhealthy marriage.
  • She was kicked out of the military for drug use.
  • She uses pot to numb herself from the trauma she experienced in her past.
  • She feels shame and judges herself.
  • Her parents neglected her.
  • She was sexually molested when she was a child.
  • She has seen a therapist who recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
  • She has employed numbing mechanisms for her whole life.
  • She has remarried a wonderful human being.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to find a long-term, quality therapist that resonates with her.
  • She needs a safe space to feel her feelings.
  • She shouldn’t quit pot until she has the techniques to deal with her emotions.


  • Be honest and compassionate with yourself if you are using a coping strategy that may border on addiction or is a full-blown addiction.
  • If you feel as if you want a guide or therapist, pray about it. Set the intention to manifest the best healer for you.
  • You have a divine appointment with the people in your life who are supposed to guide you. Trust that they are there.
  • Join my Personal Mastery Course or my Spring Retreat.


Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.

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To be held in a safe space is incredibly healing. Click To Tweet Most addictions are actually coping strategies for when we didn’t have the tools to deal with the drama and trauma. Click To Tweet There is not much of a difference between emotional, mental, and physical addiction. Because mental and emotional pain most likely creates the physical addiction. Click To Tweet

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