This episode is about how to break addictive behaviors. Today’s caller, Dee, had a chaotic childhood and is unconsciously creating chaos in her adult life because it feels familiar and safe. We work through the process of identifying her emotional addiction and unpack why it’s hard to shift and then how to shift it.

How we know that an unresolved issue from our past or an old emotional addiction has created a pattern of acting that is so unconscious that we have a hard time ‘controlling’ it is at play is that we do something that doesn’t match our current life.

If you are doing something that doesn’t match up to what your current life represents, you have some work to do in terms of going back and cleaning up the past.

When we have a lot of chaos or are used to feeling it, we become addicted to negative or lower vibrational feelings, like anxiety. Sometimes the revved up, anxious, addicted behavior creates a feeling of peace because it is familiar.

With any addiction, you are never after the substance. You are after the feeling the substance gives you. When we understand that the human psyche feels safety with certainty the brain continually hunts for what it knows to be familiar. It’s way more than sabotage. It’s a part of the brain that is so familiar with chaos that when everything is good and peaceful, it feels wrong or off.

If you are in a behavior that feels incongruent with your current state, be aware that it is an emotional addiction. Drop into compassion and then feed your emotional addiction a different way.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have a habit of overspending and/or overeating?
  • Do you have a behavior where you see yourself doing it and you know you shouldn’t but you just can’t seem to stop?
  • Did you grow up with a lot of chaos? Is the chaos gone but you continue to bring chaos into your life?
  • How are you about going with the flow and letting go of control?
  • Do you have a deep connection with a higher power?


Dee’s Question:

Dee has a habit of overspending and overeating and would like guidance on how to break her past programming.


Dee’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She’s read Expectation Hangover.
  • She continues to accrue debt.
  • She overeats unhealthy foods.
  • She’s never been taught about money.
  • She grew up with scarcity and chaos.
  • There is addiction in her family.
  • She is unconsciously creating chaos.
  • She’s always been a seeker.
  • She doesn’t feel worthy.
  • She works in the spiritual arts.
  • She feels positive about what to do next.


How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • If she can change where she focuses her energy, from spending to spiritual things will open up for her.
  • She needs to stop herself in the moment and generate feelings of love.
  • She needs to stir up the chemicals in her body and brain.
  • When she feels an urge to spend or eat, she should put one hand on her heart and one on her head and give herself love.
  • She needs to be gentle with herself while she breaks the cycle.



  • If you are in a behavior that feels incongruent with your current state, be aware that it is an emotional addiction. Drop into compassion and then feed your emotional addiction in a different way.



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Our behaviors are often reactions to unresolved issues and things that have happened to us. Click To Tweet Even if there is a part of you that is very controlling there is another part of you that loves to feel out of control because it feels like home. Click To Tweet An emotional addiction can create thoughts and behaviors. Click To Tweet