This call is about coming to terms with leaving an abusive past behind. Today’s caller, Julie, grew up in an abusive home and struggles with how much responsibility she has to stay involved in the family dynamic of her family of origin. We discuss body memories and what she is experiencing at a soul level. Until we parent our inner child the way it needs to be parented, that part of us continues to hook into the past to try to get our needs met.

Whatever your story is, there’s no reason to carry around shame or judgment of it and there is no reason to over-identify with it. If you think because of your past you have to have an awful life, or you will never become what you want to become, or use it as a scapegoat or excuse, you don’t. Your story is part of your life. It is something that has formed you but it doesn’t have to limit you. And, there’s no need to be embarrassed or ashamed about it. Your story is your story, that’s it.

The body is often the language of the subconscious mind. And, with emotions, our body can be stuck in time because it remembers a trauma that happened. Many of our emotions are coming from the subconscious level, especially the programmed emotions. Those are the ones we have been feeling since we were a child, based on things that happened or things we were told. Emotions that we feel over and over again that are pervasive and repetitive are emotional addictions. Oftentimes, right before we break an addiction, cravings for the experience get stronger.

It’s hard to break karma and step into massive soul lessons because we know we are breaking free of something major we have been hanging on to for lifetimes.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you know the difference between your actual feelings or feelings that have just been a programmed response?
  • Are you estranged from a family member or do you feel it may be healthy not to be in contact with a certain family member or a friend?
  • Do you feel guilty or ashamed by your parents and do things out of obligation?
  • Do you want to break free of the wounding of childhood and create a new kind of healthy family moving forward?


Julie’s Question:

Julie would like guidance on how to discern her programmed feelings from her actual feelings.


Julie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up in an abusive home.
  • She could never do anything right.
  • She will be adopting a baby and doesn’t want to repeat the cycle.
  • She feels as if she can’t escape her past.
  • She doesn’t speak with her mother.
  • She feels debilitated but is ready to purge the feelings.
  • She feels ready to be a mother.


How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Reach out to a somatic therapist who is trauma-informed.
  • Look at how far she has come and acknowledge herself for it.
  • Forgive herself for the self-imposed blame.
  • Emancipate herself from being controlled and betrayed.





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The body gets addicted to emotions just like it does to substances. Click To Tweet What do you think your soul is seeking to clear or learn in this lifetime? Click To Tweet It’s up to all of us to bring our truth to the surface, no matter how ugly it is. Click To Tweet