EP 274: A Couple’s Session: Healing Your Childhood Wounds in Your Relationship with Lorena and Jonathon

This call is about seeing a partner’s inner child wounding in an issue-based relationship. Today’s couple, Lorena and Jonathon, are looking for guidance on how to connect more intimately with each other and manage their masculine and feminine energies in their relationship. We uncover that inner child wounding is more at play in the relationship than masculine/feminine dynamics. Couples and singles will find value in today’s episode.

In a relationship, we cannot hope the other person heals us or completes us. That is codependency. However, we can set the intention for the relationship to be a safe space to heal. That is the beauty of a relationship. We always want to be doing our own work and healing our own stuff. Then, we can use the relationship, which is often a triggering event, as a place to heal our inner child wounding.

It is key in your intimate relationship to see his little boy, or see her little girl and understand the wounding. Know that what you need might be different than what your partner needs. Often, we love based on how we want to be loved and how our inner child needs to be loved versus how the other person in our life needs to be loved.

A conscious couple/sacred union doesn’t mean everything’s okay all the time and we are living in awesome ecstasy, having total non-violent communication, and having amazing sex all the time. We are human; it doesn’t always work like that. Being a conscious couple/sacred union means you are willing to do the work.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel like you’re showing up too masculine or too feminine in your relationship?
  • Is your relationship going through challenges, maybe you have separated, and you want to restart and get a fresh take on an old relationship?
  • Do you understand how your inner child experiences and your inner child wounding is impacting your intimacy and relationship?
  • Are you willing to see your current or future partner through the eyes of love? Are you willing to see that little boy or a little girl inside of them and truly seek to understand your partner rather than judge them or have expectations of them?

Lorena & Jonathon’s Question:

Lorena and Jonathon are looking for guidance on how to connect intimately and manage their masculine and feminine energies within the relationship.

Lorena & Jonathon’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • They have been together for 12 years.
  • They separated for a time.
  • He is cautious about being in his masculine. She is in her masculine a lot.
  • They both come from dysfunctional families.
  • They are in an issue-based relationship.
  • She lived in fear as a child and couldn’t trust people in her life.
  • He spent a lot of time trying to fit in.
  • She has high expectations of herself and others.
  • He gets angry and frustrated when he hears negative feedback.
  • She wants to feel more emotionally connected to him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Jonathon — Find his inner parent who responds to the critical voice that tells him he is enough.
  • Jonathon — Listen to Episode #273 with Ron.
  • Jonathon — Find his fire and tap into his repressed anger.
  • Lorena — Tell her little girl she is safe and know she can relax now.
  • Lorena — Acknowledge her husband for what he does.
  • Understand each other’s inner child wounding.
  • Find three questions to ask each other as a nighttime ritual.
  • Give each other more hugs throughout the day.

Ask Yourself:

  • Are you seeing and understanding your partner’s wounding?
  • Are you loving your partner and treating them the way you need to be treated and expecting them to do the same. Or, are you loving them based on what they need?
  • Do you clearly communicate what you need from your partner?
  • What is your biggest hurt from childhood and how does it show up in your relationship?
  • What is your deepest desire and how can you ask for what you need in your relationship?


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In masculine/feminine dynamics, consistency is important for the masculine to hold for the feminine to stay safe. Click To Tweet In an issue-based relationship, it is important for partners to do their inner child work individually. Click To Tweet Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. Be clear in your communication. Click To Tweet

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