EP 277: Getting Over an Ex and Calling in Love with Leah

This call is about moving out of victim and regret to fast-track healing. Today’s caller, Leah, is still getting over a breakup and is starting to feel hopeless about the marriage and family she wants to call in. Even if you haven’t had a breakup, this call is for anyone who is not where they want to be in life. It is a great example of what happens when we stay in the victim-perpetrator pattern.

If you have been in a relationship or a situation you felt was a waste of time and wish you wouldn’t have done it, understand that it had happened to get you into the fast lane for healing. Issue-based relationships, even though they are difficult to go through, they jolt us into recognizing childhood wounds that need to be healed for us to have healthy adult relationships.

If we want a healthy, authentic relationship that is not a repeat of our childhood issues, we need to do the inner work. There are no “blocks” to what we want, there are just unresolved issues to what we haven’t healed. We have to do the healing work before we can attract healthy things.

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Let’s transition into 2021 together. In the latest Coaches Corner, I add a ritual to wrap up 2020.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have something in your life; a breakup or something else from your past you can’t seem to get over and you’re stuck in regret?
  • Do you beat yourself up for choices you made in the past that you have no control over changing now?
  • Do you find yourself craving a family or a partner because you didn’t have a loving family?
  • Do you have anger toward someone it is time to let go of?

Leah’s Question:

Leah would like guidance on how to get over a bad breakup and begin to manifest a healthy, long-term relationship.

Leah’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She was traumatized by a bad breakup two years ago.
  • She is disappointed by the lack of progress in her personal development and healing work.
  • Her parents divorced when she was young and there were no strong bonds formed with either of them.
  • She resents her mother and feels neglected.
  • She feels betrayed and used by her ex.
  • She does not feel a deep connection to anyone since her ex.
  • She is giving him a lot of power over her.
  • She wants to work on trusting herself.
  • She has done therapy but has difficulty sticking with it.
  • She moves in between the victim and perpetrator archetypes.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Do not take the situation personally.
  • Realize her worthiness and value.
  • Stop beating herself up.
  • Release her anger by doing the Temper-tantrum and release writing practice from Expectation Hangover.
  • Join the Be the Queen program.
  • Be grateful for the lesson and give herself what she needs.
  • Stay in compassion when she feels helpless or hopeless.
  • Work with someone who will follow her divine timing.


  • Consider doing the anger release or the release writing practice and look at where you are in a victim and perpetrator pattern.
  • Remember, if you are healing an aspect of yourself, you are not healing all of you.


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Grief has layers. We never know how much is enough when it comes to grieving and tears. Click To Tweet Regret is taking the information we now know, going back into the past, and beating ourselves up for information we didn't have then. Click To Tweet It is tempting to go into victim because it is the only time we stop beating ourselves up and give ourselves a break. Click To Tweet

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