EP 279: Moving from Unhealthy to Healthy Relationships with Elizabeth

This call is about breaking out of patterns and unhealthy relationships. Elizabeth calls in asking for daily mantras, actions, and tools to help her feel worthy of a loving relationship. She is struggling with enoughness. She wants to get over a “toxic” relationship from her past and truly embrace, rather than sabotage, the healthy relationship she is in now. We get to the fundamental ouch or significant life event that created the misunderstanding that perpetuates her feelings of not being enough.

The feeling of not-enoughness is a major human problem. Eventually, we will evolve out of this not-enoughness thinking and raise children differently so we all don’t have to have this major human epidemic. Know that by listening to this show, doing inner work, and feeding yourself the truth, you are doing your part to evolve human consciousness.

Nothing outside of you can fulfill you and nothing external comes to you until you truly know that you are worthy and enough. That being said, we live in an interdependent world. And, although we cannot look to the outside world to make us happy, it is important to feel connected to others and attract and nurture healthy relationships, no matter where we are in our journey.

The brain may confuse familiarity with love because it was wired from an early age to make love an equation. Many learn that if they act a certain way they will get love. Conditional love can feel familiar. But, worthiness is not conditional.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you struggle with not feeling enough?
  • Have you ever had a “toxic” relationship?
  • Do you doubt that the people in your life really love you and see you? Do you fear that you will not measure up in some way?
  • Is there a fierce inner critic that lives inside your head? And, even though you know you should be nicer to yourself, you can’t seem to change your self-talk?

Elizabeth’s Question:

Elizabeth is searching for some daily mantras or actions that will make her feel enough and worthy.

Elizabeth’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is having difficulty connecting her intellect with her heart.
  • She feels not enough and that her life is pointless.
  • She verbalizes the chaos she feels in her mind.
  • She was in an eight-year “toxic” relationship.
  • She has “love” attached to feeling a certain way.
  • She has trouble quieting her inner critic.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Be in the present moment and feel her feelings.
  • Stop and breathe when her mind starts racing.
  • Realize nothing is wrong with her.
  • Forgive herself for confusing familiarity with love.
  • Give her inner critic a new job description.
  • Practice release writing when her inner critic is bratty.

Takeaways For You:

  • If you struggle with not-enoughness, when you feel it coming on, stop and think that you are hungry for the truth. And then, feed yourself some truth.
  • Watch your language and watch what you are affirming.
  • Slow down! Drop in and breathe.
  • Give things you want to shift a new job description and a new role.
  • If you want some additional help join my Personal Mastery Course
  • Join us for the Be the Queen program.


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We are all much better to serve the world when we come from a healthy place versus a reactive place. Click To Tweet Our mind is like a galloping stallion but our awareness is the rider that has the reigns. Click To Tweet Until we do healing work, the brain confuses familiarity with love. Click To Tweet

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