288: How to Navigate Confusing Emotions with Olivia

This episode is about honoring emotions with compassion and acceptance. Today’s caller, Olivia, is going through a unique situation. She is feeling confused by her emotions and would like guidance on how to feel her feelings without going into “victim” and how to grieve after a loss.

It is normal for emotions to be confusing. We live in a mental, logical, linear-based world where we want certainty. We want things to make sense. But life isn’t linear, there aren’t five steps to make every sense of everything. Life is messy. It’s complicated. It’s a journey. Especially when it comes to emotions, we don’t want to try to manage them, understand them, or know why. We just need to learn how to feel and move through them. But, often, our mind gets in the way. This is the biggest reason so many people deal with repression, suppression, depression and then have to distract themselves or develop addictions. It’s because we don’t know how to be with our emotions.

Most of the time, when we are crying or feeling we are analyzing it. Maybe not allowing ourselves to be in the emotion and ride the waves. One wave could have twenty different feelings in it. It is about letting yourself go with compassion.

If you want to evolve and be free of some of the stuff that is weighing you down, you have to feel. We only get lost in our feelings when we judge them or when we go into “victim.”

Join Stefanos and me for our 3-day virtual Inner Child Workshop. It’s not about working on yourself. It’s about connecting to your little one and letting go of some things you have been carrying around. We can help you bring your little one into their future, which is your present, and help them feel loved and safe. ChristineHassler.com/innerchild March 19–21, 2021. Listen to past group coaching calls at ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you often feel confused about your feelings?
  • Do you feel guilty about feeling the way you feel?
  • Do you put other people’s needs above yours, making their feelings and tending to their feelings and their concerns more of a priority?
  • Do you feel overwhelmed with a current emotion? Are you scared if you go into it you will lose yourself?
  • Are you going through a loss of any kind? A loss of a person you love, a pet, job, a dream?

Olivia’s Question:

Olivia has had major heartbreak and loss and is confused about how to feel.

Olivia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She ended a long-term relationship and then her ex married quickly after.
  • Her ex passed away tragically within a year of their breakup.
  • She feels stuck in her emotions.
  • She feels confused and guilty about being upset.
  • She looks to other people about how to feel.
  • She didn’t attend his funeral.
  • She is a people pleaser and puts others first.
  • She can fall into “victim” and judge herself.
  • She buries her anger.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Give herself permission to feel all of her feelings.
  • Allow herself to grieve.
  • Honor what she is feeling with compassion.
  • Realize she may never get an apology.
  • Perform a personal memorial service for her ex.
  • Dig up her anger to release it with the Anger Release technique.
  • Practice the Empty Chair process from Personal Mastery.


  • Practice riding the waves with compassion for yourself and others.
  • Allow emotions to be confusing. You don’t need to understand them mentally. The body and heart understand emotions, not your mind.
  • Consider joining us for the Inner Child workshop on March 19–21.


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When grieving, emotions aren’t linear. You can bounce in between many feelings at once. Click To Tweet In grief, ritual and ceremony are important. Click To Tweet We only get lost in our feelings when we judge them or when we go into “victim.” Click To Tweet

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