EP 291: Learning to Leave a Bad Situation at the First Sign with Barbara

This episode is about letting go of patterns and relationships that no longer serve you. Today’s caller, Barbara, has a pattern of staying in things long after they are dead, long after the signs say something is no longer in alignment with her life, or it is depleting her life in some way. The pattern of trying to breathe new life into something already dead is a waste of a precious life force. If you can relate to holding on to things for too long or staying in relationships after their expiration date has expired, this episode is for you.

Being able to nurture and be empathetic and feel what others are going through is a gift. Gifts usually come with a learning opportunity. The gift of being incredibly caring and empathic comes with the learning opportunity of boundaries, of not loving or caring for another so much that we lose sight of ourselves.

If you want to step into your gifts as a healer, empath, teacher, or true caregiver without depleting yourself, for your gifts to flourish you have to break the pattern of giving to dead ends. Break the pattern of giving so much you deplete yourself of your energy, self-care, self-worth, and self-love. Break the cycle of giving to dead ends, nourish your gifts, and use them in a way they can be fully received.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you a natural nurturer, or caretaker so much so that it often depletes your self-care?
  • Is it hard for you to leave situations or relationships or let go of expectations for your life?
  • Do you keep trying to make something work when you know deep down it probably will not?
  • Do you feel like a doormat and as if your needs come last?
  • When you set boundaries to take care of yourself, does it cause you guilt and concern about how the other person is doing more than how you are doing?

Barbara’s Question:

Barbara is questioning staying in her current relationship.

Barbara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her boyfriend is in the hospital after threatening to kill her.
  • She doesn’t know the mental status of her boyfriend.
  • She doesn’t feel it is in her highest good to stay in her relationship.
  • She is in therapy.
  • Her boyfriend’s family is giving her the cold shoulder.
  • She hasn’t had her needs met in her relationships.
  • She is a natural empath.
  • She works in a nursing home.
  • She has a good friend she can heal with.
  • She doesn’t want to get into another relationship.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Take care of herself as she cares for others.
  • Step away from this relationship.
  • Be aware that her self-worth is not based on how she takes care of others.
  • No more sacrificing herself.
  • Self-care is her number one priority.
  • Join the next Inner Child workshop with her friend.
  • Make a list of all of the reasons this relationship is not a fit for her.


  • What are the warning signs you have gotten in your life about a person or situation that wasn’t truly aligned and you ignored them?
  • Look at your patterns of people-pleasing and overgiving and know your self-worth and value do not come from helping others.
  • If you are in a helping profession, make sure you take quality time to take care of yourself and fill your own cup.


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Often, when someone is unstable, they have such low self-worth, their psyche is injured in so many ways that love coming at them is terrifying. Click To Tweet It can get messy when people are over-caretakers try to help someone who needs to find their own empowerment. Click To Tweet When something feels off or you get a warning signal about a person or situation, break the pattern of waiting to see if things will get better. Click To Tweet

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