EP 301: Release the Responsibility You Feel for Your Family with Julia

This episode is about changing your role in a chaotic family. Today’s caller, Julia, is a highly sensitive person with amazing gifts. She is at a choice point about how she wants to use them. She is looking for permission to pursue her life through authentic expression. Many relate to the feeling of conflict between familial obligations and pursuing your soul’s journey.

Ultimately, we do not know why our souls choose our families. But, we often come into families and family systems to break generational patterns. And, many of us experience family conflict if we are here to break generational patterns. Part of our soul’s journey is to not repeat the patterns. But, it is tricky because there’s an inner child piece that still wants to be loved and accepted by the family. It can be hard because we love the family and it feels like a betrayal to go and do our own thing.

One of the biggest gifts we can give our families is to embody and demonstrate what healthy looks like or what breaking patterns looks like. Not playing a role in the family can give other members a chance to get out of their roles. From the outside, breaking generational patterns can appear as mean or selfish. But, what we do allows everyone else the freedom to change their roles. We teach the most through our actions.

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Consider/Ask Yourself

  • Are you a highly sensitive person or empath? Did you grow up in a house where you didn’t feel understood?
  • Did you grow up around a lot of chaos?
  • Is there a lot of family, social, or work drama where you tend to be the anchor? Do you calm everyone down but then feel drained?
  • Is there something you want to pursue but you feel you would be betraying people if you follow your soul’s calling?

Julia’s Question:

Julia feels she can’t escape her family’s chaos and would like guidance on how to grow in life without allowing her family drama to hold her back.

Julia’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is a highly sensitive person who is part of a chaotic family.
  • Her father was physically abusive.
  • Her mother suffered from panic attacks.
  • Her older sister has bipolar disorder.
  • She feels caught up in her family’s drama.
  • She is pursuing acting opportunities.
  • She is in a relationship and considering having a family but doesn’t want to pass on a generational pattern.
  • She has a desire to be creative.
  • She feels like a crutch for her sister.
  • Taking care of her family is not her calling.
  • She is resilient.
  • She dishonors herself when she gets caught up in the family drama.
  • She wants to channel her energy in more productive ways.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Prioritize herself.
  • Process her feelings.
  • Pursue her life through creativity.
  • Tell little Julia her family is not her responsibility.
  • Set boundaries to protect her energy.


  • Do you relate to being a highly sensitive person and the gifts that come with it? Are you allowing your energy to be depleted or do you use your gift in a generative way?
  • Are you in a situation where you take over responsibility for your family and you are in a conflict between what the inner child and soul want?
  • Consider the generational patterns you are breaking in your family.
  • Do not come from guilt and obligation when interacting with your family.


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Empaths may avoid setting boundaries because they feel the pain and ramifications of their actions. Click To Tweet We are all evolving souls. We choose a family in certain circumstances to clear karma and to learn to grow. Click To Tweet Often the biggest gift we can give our families is to embody and demonstrate what healthy looks like or what breaking patterns looks like. Click To Tweet

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