EP 324: Break a Pattern by Breaking Up with Someone or Something with Aimee

This episode is about breaking a pattern. Today’s caller, Aimee, wants to end a relationship but keeps going back for more. She has a lot of awareness about why it isn’t healthy but she hasn’t taken the action to end it for good. We work through how she can find clarity and commit to her truth.

When we don’t feel integrated, when all of our parts are not working in harmony, or we have parts of ourselves we have abandoned, we can feel fragmented, off-balance, and lost. If you ever feel lost, ask yourself — what parts of me have I lost versus why am I lost or why do I feel lost? — then, think about what parts of yourself you need to bring back in and integrate.

We can get caught in a bind and judgmental of ourselves when our adult brain, our conscious mind is like — this is a terrible situation. Why am I here? We can’t seem to get out of it or we get out of the situation and we go back for more. It is because the subconscious is looking for an unmet need.

Healing comes when we give ourselves what we need, take action, and keep our promises to ourselves. Remember, feeling relief is an indicator that we are on our way to the truth.

Do you want to call in a healthy relationship and break patterns when it comes to dating and men? To start your journey and create an epic relationship, on November 30th, Stefanos and I will facilitate our last Be the Queen program for a while. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen to apply.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there a situation you are in, a behavior you repeat, or a relationship you know needs to end but you just can’t seem to get out of it?
  • Do you find yourself calling something love or calling a relationship healthy or calling a situation okay but it isn’t? It is just familiar.
  • Are you confusing true love and safety with familiarity and certainty?
  • Are you abandoning your inner child by continuing to put yourself in situations that aren’t for your highest good?

Aimee’s Question:

Aimee doesn’t know how to end her relationship of 11 years. She keeps going back and putting her needs aside.

Aimee’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her relationship is not loving, it is familiar.
  • Her relationship doesn’t meet her needs.
  • She feels disconnected and lost.
  • As a child, she felt she had to earn her mother’s love.
  • She has chronic trauma and doesn’t feel safe.
  • She is ready to break her pattern of going back but feels guilty.
  • She knows she will never be loved by her mother the way she wants.
  • She doesn’t want to be in this relationship.
  • She cannot tend to her inner child if she goes back to the unhealthy relationship.
  • She finds it hard to get out of her head.
  • She is scared to show her true self.
  • It is time for her to receive.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Let her inner child grieve the pain for the love she didn’t get from her mother.
  • Connect and commit to her inner child.
  • Leave the relationship and get professional support.
  • Stay committed and strong when she feels guilty.
  • Write a letter or record the promises she is making to herself.


  • If you have a pattern you can’t seem to quit, ask yourself if it is what you think it is.
  • If you need help connecting to your inner child, listen to the Inner Child Workshop at ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild.


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It is one thing to be told you are loved; it is another to be shown you are loved. Click To Tweet Clarity can feel disorientating because we leave the familiarity of our comfort zone. Click To Tweet It is hard to heal our inner child if we are distracted by unhealthy situations. Click To Tweet

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