Coaches Corner: Reair: EP 63: How to Beat Fear and Self-Sabotage with Jake

Collectively we are all going through a rebalancing of masculine and feminine energies, not only in what it means to be a man or a woman, but what it means to be human. We are just moving into rebalancing this energy so masculine and feminine energies can be in flow together. While women struggle to find their place in the masculine energy, men struggle to fit into more feminine things, such as being vulnerable or pursuing more creative endeavors that may feel less manly. This is not a time to be discouraged. We are all longing for belonging and connection. This episode is about questioning the old paradigms and rules.

Today’s caller, Jake, thinks he is stuck, but from my point of view he is at a crossroads. Will he continue to let old programming and belief systems drive him, or will he make a commitment to move past the fear of old paradigms, and step into his full potential?

During the call, I didn’t want to take Jake down the road of investigating his past, because he had already spent too much time analyzing the past and worrying about the future. Jake said he had an easy-going upbringing without a lot of drama or trauma. Often, feeling that degree of comfort as a child makes it harder to take risks as an adult, because we don’t have enough experiential evidence to recover from failure, risks, and things that scare us.

We have to stop asking ourselves why, why, why. We don’t have to self-analyze ourselves to death. We need to be aware of the patterns and self-limiting beliefs, so we can shift them. We all need to step up into our full potential, and not allow outdated paradigms hold us back.

Men, it is ok to be vulnerable, to talk about your doubts, and to admit to confusion about who you are, and how to find your purpose.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you a man, or with a man, who is questioning his career path or purpose?
  • Is fear something that is stopping you?
  • Do you relate to sabotaging yourself?

Jake’s Question:

Jake feels drawn toward another career change. He wants to know how to get out of his own head to move forward.

Jake’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • He is sabotaging himself.
  • He has competing intentions.
  • He has a propensity to not follow through.
  • He battles with fear and low self-worth.
  • He has time management issues.
  • He has created motion toward what he wants by putting himself out there.
  • He is afraid he won’t live up to his full potential.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • He should invest in a coach.
  • He should read The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida, and other personal development books.
  • He should work on shifting his belief system and get clear about what his vision is.
  • Over the next 40 days, he should do 10 things that get him out of his comfort zone.
  • He should make a schedule for himself and stick to it.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Go out and engage in behavior which pulls you out of your comfort zone, to develop trust in yourself.
  • Commit to rewiring your brain. Visit NeuroGym to learn more.
  • Stop obsessing about what you think is a liability.
  • Show up fully for yourself, be your own word. Make commitments and don’t break them. If you do break them, re-negotiate and start again.

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