WITH CHRISTINE HASSLER
EP 365: She Said with Rory — Part 2 of a 3-part Couples Coaching Series
This episode is a couple’s coaching session with the female partner in the relationship. Today’s caller, Rory, finds herself at a crossroads after being in a three-year relationship with Tyler. She would like guidance on whether or not she can get her needs met in this relationship. During this session, Christine questions whether there are enough shared values for both of them to go the distance in a side-by-side partnership.
The length of a relationship does not determine its success. If a relationship doesn’t last, it is not a failure. Some of the most successful relationships have ended. Relationships are successful when you learn a lot or heal from them. Unfortunately, love isn’t enough in a relationship.
Physically, for men, attraction is very important. They like to feel attracted to their partner consistently over the long term. For a female to feel sexual and safe, she needs to feel like there is a commitment to consciousness, emotional vulnerability, and intimacy.
A couple needs shared values, vision, the right polarity, and an equal amount of willingness and commitment. A couple must want the same things in life to make a relationship work.
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- Are you in any kind of relationship, be it friendship, romantic, or work where you feel you are giving more than you are getting?
- Did you grow up in a family where love was confused with validation? Did you only feel loved and seen when you accomplished something?
- Are you a female who has been accused of being too much in your masculine energy?
- Do you feel you have done a lot of work but your romantic partner isn’t doing their work? Do you think you will be willing and able to grow together as a couple?
Rory is at a crossroads with her partner and trying to figure out if the relationship has run its course.
Rory’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She believes she operates in the masculine and her partner in the feminine.
- She believes things need structure and that a relationship needs work.
- She feels she does more than she receives.
- As a child, she only felt love when she accomplished something.
- Her relationship feels safe to her.
- She doesn’t feel taken care of in the relationship.
- She knows, logically, that Tyler loves her but her emotional needs aren’t being met.
- She has been a victim of sexual assault.
- She feels less than when she is being herself.
- She feels she is not supported when she makes decisions.
- They took a short break from the relationship.
- She would like Tyler to dive deep into the work needed in their relationship.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- Look into the protective patterns that show up in her relationship.
- Be completely herself in the relationship.
- Ask for what she needs in a vulnerable way.
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Tweetables:We may be able to inspire someone but we can’t change them. Click To Tweet A couple needs shared values, vision, the right polarity, and an equal amount of willingness and commitment. Click To Tweet Relationships are successful when you learn a lot or heal from them. Click To Tweet