This episode is the first of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today’s call, Claire reveals she would like Jimmy to make plans with her and make her a priority in his life. Christine uncovers some childhood patterns that may be at play in Claire’s current relationship.

When there is something that is bothering us and we are unable to shift it, we need to dig deeper. It is normal for us to be able to identify what is going on with someone else yet still to be blind to our own blocks. When we finally see it we realize how obvious it was but it is hard to see. We often just want to notice the current problem and fix our relationship, versus going back to see what it reminds us of in our past.

Things in our lives will continue to be frustrating until we unpack the message they are illuminating.

When we take the time to work on ourselves first, often it offers more clarity about issues in our relationships. We can’t work on issues in our relationships without working on ourselves.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Is there a constant pattern in your relationship you can’t seem to shift?
• Do you and your partner argue about the same issues over and over?
• Do you have an unmet need from a parent that is showing up in your relationship?
• Are you willing to see your partner in a different light? Are you willing to see your partner for who they are, right here, right now?

Claire’s Question:

Claire would like guidance about how she can feel like a priority in her partner’s life.

Claire’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Her childhood wound is abandonment.
• She doesn’t feel like a priority in Jimmy’s life.
• When she feels seen by Jimmy she feels empowered in the relationship.
• She has different patterns than Jimmy.
• She has been married before.
• Her father wasn’t present every day in her childhood.
• She is attached to planning and doing things.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Practice connection and intimacy with Jimmy in everyday life.
• Remind her inner child that Jimmy isn’t her Dad and she can get love whenever she wants.
• Let go of planning for a while to accept love in the here and now.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services

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Tweetables:

You can’t work on your relationship without working on yourself. Click To Tweet Can you enjoy love in the here and now? Or, do you need future plans to make you feel secure in a relationship? Click To Tweet Things in our lives will continue to be frustrating until we unpack the message they are illuminating. Click To Tweet