EP 392: Dealing with Challenges in Relationships with Andrew

This episode is about busting through limiting beliefs to get down to love and truth. Today’s caller, Andrew, finds himself at a challenging crossroads in his marriage. He would like to know how to be supportive of his wife after her recent cancer diagnosis without becoming a doormat.

There are many common, limiting beliefs when it comes to love and romance. One belief is the success of a relationship is based on the time it lasts. So, if there is a breakup or divorce, the relationship was considered a failure. Or, if you love someone, you must love them unconditionally and stay with them, for better or for worse, no matter what. Another limiting belief is, the purpose of a romantic relationship is to find THE one who completes you.

Diagnoses can be an opportunity for deep healing and transformation. Sometimes, what is for the highest good is not always the easiest or most obvious choice. It basically comes down to love and truth. People in a relationship can be growing at different speeds, but still along the same path.

Remember, spirituality is not tolerating people treating us the way they want to treat us. Love and truth go together. Self-honoring choices are often for the highest good of all, and that is the ultimate high road. We can love, encourage, support, and be an example for people, but we cannot save anyone else, that is up to them.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • What soul lessons are you currently learning from your relationship or relationship status?
  • Are you making your relationship with yourself or your higher power a priority?
  • Are any of your relationships at a point where you are growing in a different direction from each other?
  • Do you wonder if being there for someone else in a supportive way is putting your own needs at risk?
  • What is the difference between having a spiritual orientation to your relationship, and doing a spiritual bypass and becoming a bit of a doormat?

Andrew’s Question:

Andrew’s relationship is experiencing trials and tribulations. He would like to know how to spiritually cope with his wife’s recent thyroid cancer diagnosis.

Andrew’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • His wife’s hormones have been elevated due to a thyroid problem.
  • He feels spirituality calling him.
  • It’s not his responsibility to save his wife.
  • He has recently started a spiritual practice.
  • He doesn’t believe his wife is a willing participant in the relationship.
  • His current lesson may not yet be resolved.
  • It is now up to him to re-parent himself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Write his wife a letter to share what feels about her and how the diagnosis may be a wake-up call to stay committed to working on their relationship. Also, let her know he cannot do it alone.
  • Hug his wife every day.
  • Take 100% responsibility for his 50%.


  • Look back at your romantic relationships to see what lessons you have learned. Write down how each partner has been a soul mate.
  • Nurture a relationship with a higher power.
  • Do something intentional and devotional every day for someone you care about.
  • If there is a difficult conversation you need to have, write a letter and either read the letter to the person or give it to them.


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Love without truth can keep us in relationships long past their expiration dates. Click To Tweet People don’t cure themselves of cancer when they are stuck in a victim mentality. Click To Tweet Are you still on the same path as your partner but perhaps just a few paces ahead? Click To Tweet

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