EP 397: When You Know What You Should Do But You Just Can’t Seem to Do It with Cindy

This episode is about a conflict between what our inner child wants and what our adult self needs. Today’s caller, Cindy, is in a relationship that she knows she needs to leave but she feels frozen. She is looking for guidance on how to move forward and take action. This can be applied to anything whether it is a relationship, a job, or a pattern. There are some great tidbits about why we don’t shift.

When we know there is an action we need to take but we just can’t seem to do it we can analyze it, process it, and have awareness about it but we may still feel frozen and unable to take action.

Freeze is a trauma response. It doesn’t matter how much we know what we “should” do, when we are in a trauma response it all gets overridden with survival patterns. Our inner child believes that we will heal a wound by being with someone similar to the person who prompted our trauma.

One of the best ways that you can make a change in your life is to do something different to get out of your comfort zone but to do it with a lot of love. 

For empathetic or people with co-dependent threads, love bombing is like a drug. Whether someone’s a diagnosed narcissist or they have narcissistic tendencies, love bombing is not about the person receiving the love bomb. It’s about control. It’s not love.

So, choose yourself. Legitimately and authentically love yourself out of the situation.

My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their own consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. It is October 13-15 in San Diego, CA. Early bird pricing ends soon so to sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you in a situation, relationship, friendship, or work situation where you know you need to make a change but you just can’t seem to do it?
  • Do you know that some of your choices are coming from your inner child but can’t seem to make different choices?
  • Do you often let fear stop you from doing something you need to do?
  • Are you frustrated with yourself because you know better but you just keep wondering why you’re not doing better?

Cindy’s Question:

Cindy is in a toxic marriage. She wants to end the relationship and get a divorce but she feels stuck and is not sure how to move forward.

Cindy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is finding it difficult to make a decision.
  • She struggles with shame and anger about not leaving.
  • She feels frozen.
  • She feels her partner and her father are similar.
  • Her father had an undiagnosed mental problem.
  • Her partner love-bombed her at the beginning of her relationship.
  • She knows the relationship is not good for her.
  • She feels her partner destroyed her life.
  • She knows she has choices to make.
  • She is a people pleaser.
  • She feels financially tied to the relationship.
  • Her partner plays on her core wounds.
  • She found it easier to get out of her first marriage.
  • She will keep herself away from men that come with red flags.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Talk to her inner child about what love truly is.
  • Assure her inner child that she will take care of her.
  • Attend Christine’s Signature Retreat.
  • Make a decision by May 1, 2023.


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Freeze is a trauma response. It doesn’t matter how much we know. When we are in a trauma response it all gets overridden with survival patterns. Click To Tweet For empathetic or people with co-dependent threads, love bombing is like a drug. Click To Tweet Love bombing is about making someone feel special just so they can be knocked down. Click To Tweet

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