EP 402: How to Feel Safe in Your Body with Nicole

This episode is about feeling safe in our bodies by regulating the nervous system. Today’s caller, Nicole, struggles to change her body weight and feels she lacks motivation and follow-through to do so. She asks for practical tips on how to shift it and create peace and love within herself.

Nervous system regulation is bringing awareness to our state of being. Meaning, are we in a state of hyperarousal or hypoarousal? Both states can be a trauma response. Trauma, simply defined, is too much, too fast, too soon, or too little for too long.

Hyperarousal means we are anxious, constantly bracing ourselves, staying busy and distracted to avoid pain, or we are nervous, vigilant, and possibly aggressive. Hypoarousal means we can be depressed, or we may lack motivation. We can even go into apathy or indifference.

Whether it is hyper or hypo, it means we are functioning with an unregulated nervous system. It is hard for people in an unregulated state to be present. A regulated nervous system is when we feel safe inside our body. Yet, it doesn’t mean we’re in a meditative state and doesn’t mean we are a Zen master.

For those who grew up in an unsafe or chaotic house, your baseline is not going to be regulated. You can do all the emotional processing in the world to move the trauma and do inner child work but you have to practice a nervous system reset multiple times a day.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel busy all the time and there don’t seem to be enough hours in a day?
  • Have you been wanting to release weight but you just can’t seem to let it go?
  • Do you know the benefits of self-love and self-care but you can’t seem to do them?
  • Did you grow up in a chaotic household and you long for peace and calm in your life?

Nicole’s Question:

She struggles with prioritizing herself, practicing self-love, and having self-worth issues. She wants to lose weight but doesn’t understand why she cannot stay motivated to do so.

Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She attended the Be the Queen program.
  • Her father didn’t value overweight people.
  • Her mother was self-critical.
  • She tries to eat healthily and has a gym membership.
  • She loves being outside, dancing, and being with her dog.
  • She is finishing her Master’s degree.
  • She finds little time to do the things she loves.
  • Her nervous system baseline is hyper-aroused.
  • She longed for peace and calm in her chaotic childhood home.
  • She focuses on losing weight.
  • She tells herself she will do the things she loves when she loses weight.
  • She is a people-pleaser.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Break the pattern of being in a hyper-aroused state.
  • Recalibrate her nervous system with hourly breaks and resets.
  • Check out Style Space and use the promo code Christine10.
  • Create peace and calm in her home and body.
  • Practice transitions and be conscious about her next move.
  • Practice saying no to create space for herself.


  • Find online content about nervous system regulation.


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Looking at the things we love in life can activate love inside of us. Click To Tweet When our nervous system is regulated, the body naturally goes to its most healthy, desired weight. Click To Tweet If you don’t feel safe in your body, your body is unlikely to lose the weight it feels is protecting you at some level. Click To Tweet

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