This week as I was pulling into the gym parking lot I got rear-ended.  Fortunately not badly enough to hurt me, hard enough to get my attention.  As I got out of my car to check the damage, there was a moment of annoyance as I looked at the damage to my bumper and knew I was going to miss my “shockwave” class.

But that annoyance faded away as soon as I saw the face of the young man who hit me . . . the guilt and fear in his eyes was unmistakable.  I could sense he was beating himself up in a major way especially after he saw my car.

He asked if I was okay and apologized. I reassured him that I was fine, that accidents happen and this is why we have insurance.  I was flooded with compassion as I witnessed Andrew battling his own inner judge.  It felt like I had a divine appointment with this him to remind him of something very important, which is the same thing I am reminding you of in today’s vlog.

We all make mistakes and accidents. Sometimes we say or do things we wish we could take back.  And then we are likely to indulge in quite a bit of self-criticism. We think we should have known better . . . but regret is a totally useless use of energy (read more about regret here).

It can be easier to forgive someone else, but when it comes to ourselves – and our mistakes, slips, and behavior we are not proud of – we often lack compassion.

I stayed and talked with Andrew in the parking garage for another ten minutes after we exchanged insurance information.  He was so concerned about loosing his job (it was a company car) and kept apologizing to me.  I reassured him that he had my forgiveness, I understood it was an accident, and suggested the person he really needed to forgive was himself.  He initially looked at me like I was speaking another language until it sunk in.  I saw him take a deep breath of what seemed like relief.

Today you also have my heart-felt encouragement to take a big sigh of relief by forgiving yourself for any judgments you are holding against yourself. Holding onto self-criticism or self-punishment is not a healthy form of penance or prevention @christinhassler (tweet this!).  The best way to move forward with spiritual integrity is to let go of self-beat, move into acceptance of what happened, forgive yourself, and ask what you learned from the situation and how you can apply those learning’s moving forward.

As Maya Angelo says, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”  Doing better in the future does not require beating yourself up for the past.  Self-forgiveness moves you forward.

In the vlog, I guide you through a self-forgiveness process to support you in letting go. You can also reference the self-forgiveness tool and guided meditation on pg. 159 of Expectation Hangover.

Seriously, what good is beating yourself up doing? Really? Choose compassion over criticism.  Let go. Learn. Move forward. Do better next time.

As usual, I am here to cheer you on or answer any questions you have about today’s topic so share your comments below.

Love,

Christine

p.s. The deadline for early bird application for my Secret Sauce Business Training and Mastermind is today! The group is already shaping up to be AMAZING. Fill out your application here.

p.p.s. I’m also thrilled to share about my friend Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass Digital! This is no ordinary digital training. It is a transformational deep-dive into what it means and takes to be a spiritual leader. It equips you with the tools, knowledge and network you need to catalyze real, sustainable growth as a spiritual leader. Go here for more info.