The meanest person you’ll ever meet…

Do you know who the meanest person you’ll ever meet is?

It’s your own inner critic. I came face-to-face with mine this week, which I tell you more about in today’s vlog.

Now why in the world would I say that a part of you is meaner than anyone else? I’m sure you can think of a time where you’ve said some nasty things about yourself that you wouldn’t dare say about someone else. Why do we beat ourselves up when we are such a nice person?

Our relationship with ourselves—how we talk to ourselves and the self-perception we have —impacts both our well-being and the actions we take more than anything. That’s why I am so passionate about encouraging you to tone down the fierceness and volume of your inner critic.

Last week I had a (painful) reminder of this when my inner critic got super loud. I was totally beating the crap out of myself regarding a situation. I was also getting some external criticism that only gave my inner critic more material to use against me. OMG it was brutal.  I wanted to go back in time and get a do-over.

Can you relate to that??

But not only did this fierce self-critic not feel good, it sidetracked me from the blessings in the situation. Thank goodness this was not a long diversion. After a few perspective check conversations with friends and my own inner coach, I was able to shift.

Please for the love of your sanity and your emotional health, shift yours!

Here are some tips:

  1. When you’re being a Nasty Nelly to yourself, expecting to instantly get all Suzy Sunshine is a big leap. Get yourself to neutral acceptance instead of going for a pep talk. Say things to yourself like, “I did the best I could. I forgive myself for judging myself. I am using this for my learning.”
  2. Consider the energetic contribution you are making. Your self-talk not only influences YOU but influences the vibe you are broadcasting. The more negative you are on the inside, the less likely you are to be able to attract what you want. Plus, most people really do not like to be around other people who are criticizing themselves all the time.
  3. Usually a fierce outburst from your inner critic does require more than just the first two suggestions. We need some actions that alert our inner critic to the fact that we do not need it to keep torturing us. Here’s what I found works best: Forgive yourself, write down what you learned and come up with a prevention plan for how you can do even better. Make room for improvement without the so-called constructive criticism (because, seriously, any form of negative self-talk is NOT constructive!)

Your inner critic is NOT helping you. It is NOT motivating you in a positive way. It is draining your energy and broadcasting bad vibes. No one ever says, ‘I’m really glad I worried, stressed and beat myself up about ______.’

What will support you is listening to the voice of your heart; that voice that speaks truth to you with love. That voice is always there. I promise. And the more you silence the criticism, the louder the voice of love will become.

Love,
Christine

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  • Elsie

    I love this post Christine! And I want to share it on Facebook, but it won’t share for me when I use the “share” to the left, or it also won’t show up when I add the link it just says “Just a moment”. Can you guys look into this so I can share it? It’s such a powerful post I want to get it out there to the world! xo

    • Christine Hassler

      Hmmm…Yes we are looking into this! Thanks for alerting us. For now, you could share the url: christinehassler.com/2016/11/the-meanest-person-youll-ever-meet

  • ArtN

    I’m beginning to understand how constructive criticism might do more harm than good. I’m in a spot right now where I’m being supervised and the balance isn’t right…. things were leaning too far into negative land. I can take a lot of direction but I’ve realized that it has to be positively driven. The negative slant has reduced my joy and made me dread supervision – the opposite of what the process intended, I’m sure.

    It’s striking to me how you routinely post videos that confirm what I’m learning about myself during the space that it’s occurring.

    I do love new realizations that lay to rest cherished (but often unchallenged) ideas. Looking forward to reaching a ‘rest point’ where I can coast for a short while.

    • Christine Hassler

      I feel so grateful that my content is resonating with you! :) And there’s plenty more to come!! I’m creating quite a bit right now. In fact, given what you’ve shared about receiving criticism, this week’s podcast might be helpful. It deals with how to release the pressure and expectation from others! Stay tuned :)