Tag Archives: empowered

EP 102: How to Know if it’s Time to Leave a Relationship with Renae

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This episode is about making self-serving decisions. Today’s caller, Renae, is married, and questioning whether or not her marriage has reached its expiration date. As you can hear in the call, Renea intuitively knows what she should do but she needs to be empowered so she can take action.

Do all relationships where one person is on the growth path, and the other person isn’t, have an expiration date? Not necessarily. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to know when it’s time to leave a relationship. When there is abuse, addiction, or toxic behavior, or the other person is unwilling to invest in the relationship, you have to be honest about why you are still in this type of relationship, and whether it is really serving your highest good.

When it is time to evaluate a relationship, or when it’s time to end it, be honest with yourself and listen to your intuition. You may already know the answer. When we seek counsel with others, we want to hear from someone else what we may already know. Sometimes we are looking for someone to give us permission.

If you are a parent who feels they may have messed up their kids, your fear is not helping you or them. What does help is to help them learn how to make self-honoring decisions. You should start equipping them with the personal development tools and mindset to help them break generational patterns, and to not personalize the situation. Children shouldn’t feel that anything was their fault.

And, actions speak louder than words. We must give someone the dignity of the process but honor our own boundaries. Don’t be a victim. Consider Al-Anon, and find other people you can connect to. Don’t bond over wounds, but find other people who understand your background. It will help empower you.

If you are looking for support, encouragement and love, my Personal Mastery Course,
Over It and On With It  is the most comprehensive virtual coaching program I have. You receive 6-weeks of personalized coaching with me, guided meditations, videos, and I engage with you on Facebook Lives and in group coaching calls. This course is starting in October, and it’s only offered once per year.


Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you questioning your current relationship? Are you in, or did you grow up in, an abusive environment?
  • Do you know what to do, but wish someone would give you permission to do it? Have you been attempting to change someone else, but realize the most important person to focus on right now is yourself?

Renae’s Question:

Renae wants to know if she should stay in her current long-term relationship.

Renae’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up in an environment of physical and verbal abuse.
  • Her husband is verbally abusive to her and her children.
  • She doesn’t focus on herself.
  • Her 15-year-old daughter wants her to get a divorce.
  • She’s afraid to make the wrong decision.
  • She recognizes she needs to change her life and to give her kids a different environment.
  • She’s known what to do, but needed validation to move forward.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to make a decision to break patterns and to change things.
  • She needs to start documenting abuse.
  • She needs to stop beating herself up, and practice self-love and self-care.
  • She needs to believe in herself, and give herself positive encouragement.

Takeaways:

  • If you are questioning your relationship, ask yourself, “What is this relationship teaching me? What patterns do I need to complete? Could it be time to go? What do I need to do to make a shift?
  • If you are a parent, and feel that your children have seen things in your life or marriage that have been tough and they are struggling, get them help! You can’t be their therapist, counselor, or coach. They may need an objective person they can talk to, and to give them new tools.
  • My Inner Circle community can be a great place to find the love and support from people who know what you are feeling.

Sponsor:

Daily Harvest — Organic Superfoods delivered to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get three free Daily Harvest cups.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Course

Tweetables:

Make decisions for yourself that are the most honoring, loving, and based in… Click To Tweet

When we live with people who are abusive or addicts, we tend to have a low… Click To Tweet

Don’t take action from a place of guilt or fear, take action from a place of self-love or… Click To Tweet

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EP 99: Letting Go of an Ex with Michelle

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This episode is about making self-serving decisions. I coach today’s caller, Michelle, through a decision about her long-term relationship. As you can hear in the call, Michelle intuitively knows what she should do, but she needs to be empowered so she can take action.

People feel most confident to make a decision or choice when they feel empowered. We feel most empowered when we arrive at our own answers. During the session, I reflected back to Michelle, and I asked her a lot of questions so she could get to her own answers.

Michelle was invested in saving her husband, but was it more about him or her? Her intentions were pure, but she was outsourcing her self-worth by trying to save him. There was a limiting belief that if she saves or heals him it gives her value.

It’s important to unhook yourself from the role of caretaker or savior. Go back and listen to my after-the-call breakdown of Episode #97 with Trinette for my explanation of what codependency is.

All of us struggle, at one point, with a breakup, a challenging relationship, or lack of a relationship. Our struggles are often a catalyst to dive into personal growth work. We all want love and we all desire healthy, fulfilling relationships.

This is why I designed a special course, Get Over Your Breakup & On with Love. It includes all of my best stuff when it comes to love and relationships. It is for anyone who is looking to get over a hurt and step into self-love and a loving relationship. Over and On With It Podcast listeners get $100 off the course until Sept. 1st. Simply use the promo code: PODCAST.

Also, thanks to those of you who signed up for my Summer of Love Challenge. There are more Challenges coming, so sign up to get a daily email about spreading and sharing love, from me. Plus, when you sign up you become eligible to get 6-months free in my Inner Circle Membership Community.

Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you still hanging on to an ex, either emotionally or physically, even though you know it’s unhealthy to still be engaged?
  • Do you love taking care of others? Is part of your identity to help others or save others?
  • When it comes to self-love, are you good at taking outward actions, but maybe not so good at the internal compassion?
  • Are you more concerned about someone else’s feelings than your own?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle wants to know if she should stay in her current long-term relationship.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up in an environment of physical and verbal abuse.
  • Her husband is verbally abusive to her and her children.
  • She doesn’t focus on herself.
  • Her 15-year-old daughter wants her to get a divorce.
  • She’s afraid to make the wrong decision.
  • She recognizes she needs to change her life and to give her kids a different environment.
  • She’s known what to do but needed validation to move forward.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to make a decision to break patterns and to change things.
  • She needs to start documenting abuse.
  • She needs to stop beating herself up and practice self-love and self-care.
  • She needs to believe in herself and give herself positive encouragement.

Assignments:

  • Check out my “Get Over a Breakup and On” with Love course.
  • Make a list of your healthy agreements in relationships.
  • Make a list of all the things you are good at doing for other people, and then do them for yourself.

Sponsor:

Daily Harvest — Organic Superfoods delivered to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get 3 free Daily Harvest cups.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

The Spouse House

Tweetables:

Podcast listeners get a special discount when signing up for my “Get Over Your Breakup and On… Click To Tweet

People feel most confident to make a decision or choice when they feel empowered.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

Unhook yourself from the role of caretaker or savior, and give yourself what you give to… Click To Tweet

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