Coaches Corner: Reair: Overcoming Your Inner Critic with Ravi

This episode is about overcoming the pain our inner bullies create. Today’s caller, Ravi, was bullied as a child, and uses his inner critic as a protective measure. He became isolated and disconnected from his intuition, and he cut off listening to his heart because he didn’t want to feel.

When we cut off our feelings we not only cut off the pain, but we cut off the love and inspiration as well. What happened in the past does not have to create your future. You can get over it and on with it, but you must be consciously committed to letting it go.

To transform, you need love, wisdom, and compassion from your heart, and alchemy. I guided Ravi through a heart meditation, like this one from a Coaches Corner episode. Ravi experienced clarity after the meditation. His heart said it wanted expression through art.

The next step was to transform his trauma and pain, but Ravi said he didn’t want to go there. Remember, the fear of feeling pain is what keeps you from transforming it. It is possible to alchemize passion, or suffering, into something you love. It takes a lot of energy to suppress pain. If you have had trauma, it can be scary to go there on your own. You should find someone to work with, someone who can go there with you to hold a space for you.

The more you listen to your heart, the more it speaks to you!

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you trying to figure out your issues or challenges in your head?
  • Were you bullied, teased or criticized as a child or a teenager, and it still haunts you today?
  • Do you have a past trauma you are terrified to address and feel?
  • Would you say you live more in your head than in your heart?

Ravi’s Question:

Ravi wants to know how to find purpose in his life.

Ravi’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He disconnected from his conscious mind to cope with the trauma.
  • He internalizes the external bullying.
  • He’s scared of failure and being made fun of.
  • He has managed his pain, but has not yet transformed it.
  • He is in an avoidance pattern and protective mode.
  • He’s been in the midst of self-loathing.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • He should tap into the passion he experienced to create art.
  • He could help other people who have been bullied.
  • He needs to listen to his heart.
  • He needs to start alchemizing his pain.
  • He should practice release writing when he feels sadness.


  • Read The Lesson Quest and Your Life’s Purpose in Chapter 9, The Spiritual Level in Expectation Hangover.
  • Be honest about what you are attempting to figure out, and alchemize it.
  • Listen to my Coaches Corner with Jim Kwik.
  • Volunteer and be of service to someone else to help you with your inner critic.

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