Coaches Corner: Reair: Untangling Money and Love with Jillian

This episode is about trusting ourselves and changing our relationship with money and with people. Today’s caller, Jillian, is low on self-love and self-trust and she finds herself buying love. Money and love have been combined and entangled her entire life and her self-worth is dependent on her net worth. However, she doesn’t like having money.

Jillian doesn’t like money because it brings up things she doesn’t want to face. Money was used as emotional currency in her family. All she wanted was love and attention. It’s not the money she is angry at, it’s her father. She has been craving love for a long time.

This love/hate relationship manifests in a cycle. She makes money because she thinks she needs it to survive and then she gets mad at it because it triggers her past issues. Then, she spends it and then panics because she doesn’t have any. The cycle then starts all over again. In order to have a better relationship with money, Jillian has to heal her past issues with her father.

She has love and money paired together. It’s incredibly confusing and has made her repeat the behavior of her father. If she were to disconnect money and love she would have healthier relationships.

Anything we unconsciously fear, we test. Jillian has a fear that if she doesn’t have money no one will love her so she tests it by almost sabotaging her financial well-being to see if someone will stay in her life.

What are you unconsciously testing that you are actually manifesting?

This is a great year to focus on self-love, self-acceptance, and self-care. The kinder and more loving you are to yourself the more love you have to give and share. My new journal, 40 Days to Increase Your Peace, Productivity and Prosperity can help you focus on what is important. Sign up for my newsletter at ChristineHassler.com so you know when it’s available.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • How do you describe your relationship with money?
  • What was your family’s financial situation growing up and how did that affect you?
  • Do you feel like someone tried to buy your love or apologized with material things?
  • Have you ever tried to buy affection or attention with gifts or money?
  • Do you trust yourself when it comes to money?

Jillian’s Question:

Jillian has had money and trust issues since she was a little girl and would like to know how to separate love from money.

Jillian’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She was told she would never have to worry about money.
  • She doesn’t know how to separate love from money.
  • She craves love and connection with people.
  • Her money challenges have always been solved with money.
  • She doesn’t have to buy love.
  • She has a scarcity mentality when it comes to money.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to understand that she has been craving love for a long time.
  • She should speak with her husband more about her fears.
  • She should make a list of the ways she breaks trust with herself and make new agreements.
  • She needs to uplevel her financial IQ.

Action Steps:

  • Make a list of the ways you break trust with yourself and make new agreements. Keep your word to yourself!
  • Evaluate your relationship with money and up your financial IQ.
  • Challenge yourself to be more intimate with people instead of giving them gifts.
  • If you are having difficulty trusting yourself with money, go to the bank and set up a ‘trust’ fund.

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