This episode is about follow-through and commitment. Today’s caller, Jill, has a pattern of giving up on everything she begins. She recently quit her job, but she fears she won’t follow through with her new endeavor, based on her past patterns.
Do you identify with starting things but not sticking to them? When your enthusiasm wears off, do you quit and then judge yourself? It’s a vicious cycle. It’s important for you to get out of it.
If you have someone to blame, you are not going to change. Instead of hanging on to your scapegoats and excuses, shift your patterns by hanging on to your goals. Connect to your why and commit to your action steps, and stop quitting when things get hard.
If you feel you were over-parented, you can’t blame your parents anymore. You need to set boundaries with them and parent yourself through your challenges. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable. Adversity is one of the ways we grow.
Before giving clients insight or advice it is important to get into their model of the world. Ask them why they think they have the behavior.
When a client is in their pattern when speaking to us, sometimes we miss it. As a coach, we should be more committed to their breakthrough than to solving their complaint.
Today’s caller Jill is part of my Inner Circle Membership Community. She has access to daily practices and meditations to help her grow in all aspects of her life. She can reach out to a like-minded community when she needs support, and so can you if you join. Learn more about Inner Circle by emailing [email protected].
And, the TV show I have been working on, The Spouse House, premiers on Sunday, July 7th on TLC. I am the co-host and relationship coach to seven men and seven women who are ready to find their spouse, get engaged and get married, before they leave the house. My co-host Dr. Isaiah Pickens joins me on this week’s Coaches Corner to discuss our experience.
Can you relate to a pattern of starting and stopping? How did your parents react when you experienced adversity? How is it affecting your level of commitment and being able to move through things?
Are you putting too much on your plate?
Do you have a story about giving up? Are you blaming a person or past situation for why you can’t stick with things or be accountable for things in your life?
Jill would like to know how to follow through with the projects she starts.
Jill’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She resents her mother for saying it was OK to quit.
She doesn’t remember her parents giving her affection when she was a child.
She is giving away her power by resenting her mother.
She got love and attention when she gave up on things.
She’s not fluent in the experience of moving past resistance.
She’s not connected to her power.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
She should forgive her mother, and take responsibility for her own life.
She needs to connect with her inner coach and her own voice of encouragement.
She needs to learn to love herself through any resistance she encounters.
Stop blaming others. Take full responsibility for your life.
Become fluent in the voice of encouragement. Stop looking for reasons to quit or permission to stop.
Breakdown ‘overwhelm’ into small manageable steps.
Look at your incomplete cycles of action. Set a date to complete something or let it go. Commit to something you want to do for consecutive 40 days.
Join my Inner Circle community to get a healthy support system.