EP 411: Should We Continue the Relationship After Infidelity? With Jade & Matthew — Part 4

This coaching call is about honoring yourself and another person by completing an unhealthy dynamic. Jade & Matthew both join this couple’s session to ask Christine for guidance about where to go in their current relationship. If you are going through a relationship breakup or if it is time to end a relationship, this episode is valuable especially if there is wounding playing out in your relationship.

One of the ways that we suffer most in relationship is thinking that our love will change someone. But, the opportunity to truly heal and step into their greatest potential is up to that person.

Oftentimes, coming together in relationship does help someone step into their fullest potential, but there’s a caveat: they have to do it. They have to want it and it has to happen quickly. If you’re in a relationship where it has been years of the other person going back to their old patterns, then you are in the cycle of them apologizing and feeling awful and you taking them back thinking things will be different. They are going to do their work and then something else happens but you see their little boy or little girl, and you love them, and this time was different and they’re really doing the work, and they’re seeing the counselor, but then they do it again. It’s just a loop. I encourage you to choose you, to love you. They need to do their healing on their own.

Making the choice to end, or complete, an unhealthy dynamic to heal individually is a gift we give to the other person. When we trust love and truth it always gets us to where we want to go.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you an enabler or are you addicted to someone else enabling you?
  • Do you tend to be a little codependent or a lot codependent in relationships?
  • Do you know that you love someone so much but no matter how much you love them it’s up to them to change?
  • Are you feeling that it is time for a conscious uncoupling in your relationship?

Jade & Matthew’s Question:

Jade & Matthew ask for guidance about how best to heal themselves.

Jade & Matthew’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Matthew feels relieved.
  • They separated after he returned from his travels.
  • Matthew shared his shadows with Jade.
  • Matthew became aware that he seeks validation from other women.
  • Matthew will do inner child work via therapy.
  • Jade believes it is best for them to not have contact while they are healing.
  • Jade needs to see Matthew needs to love himself.
  • Matthew wants Jade to be in his life because he feels a soul-level connection to her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Have no contact with each other for one year so they can heal themselves.
  • Use the sentence starters Christine gave them to journal about their feelings.
  • Jade needs time alone and for Matthew to respect that.
  • Take the opportunity to learn what healthy, mature love is.


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It’s a big ask of anyone to be with someone processing childhood trauma, abandonment, rejection, and abuse. Click To Tweet Sometimes unwanted outcomes lead to the best outcomes. Click To Tweet When we trust love and truth it always gets us to where we want to go. Click To Tweet

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