EP 412: Is It Really the Fear of Being Seen or Is It Something Else? With Davina

This coaching call is about embracing our mother energy. Today’s caller, Davina, is a life coach struggling to attract her ideal clients. She was told that she may fear being seen, but it didn’t entirely resonate with her. During the session, she discovers that it is an inner-child wound impacting her efforts.

When we have blocks, when imposter syndrome comes up, or we are not attracting what we want, we can believe it is a fear of being seen. And while that may be true in many ways — many of us do have a fear of being seen and being vulnerable, but that is not always what it is. There may be something deeper that is more accurate.

There are inner-child, super-subconscious wounds and operating systems we develop when we are young impact our lives in various ways that we are not aware of. Whenever our reaction to something doesn’t match the circumstance in terms of severity, our inner child is triggered.

For anyone, especially coaches, sometimes we think we need to have great answers all the time, but if we can just hold a space of love and compassion for people in our life, that is often more powerful than any piece of advice or aha moment we can create. Often, someone feeling not-judged is the biggest aha moment they can possibly have.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you believe you have a fear of being seen or is it hard to put yourself out there?
  • Are you a coach and you are having difficulty attracting the exact kind of clients you want? Do you have a childhood that involves some kind of abandonment or not a feeling really chosen by a parent?
  • Do you get angry, frustrated, or annoyed when people copy you?

Davina’s Question:

Davina is struggling to attract her ideal clients and is asking for guidance about her messaging efforts.

Davina’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is a life coach.
  • She is annoyed by people who copy her.
  • A coach told her she is afraid of being seen.
  • Her mother abandoned her and started a different family.
  • She had to share her mother’s attention.
  • She felt she has always had to do things on her own.
  • She feels sad and angry.
  • She grieves the loss of the relationship she had with her mother.
  • Being vulnerable is uncomfortable for her.
  • Her father wasn’t emotionally available.
  • She is vulnerable when she feels safe and supported.
  • She takes a long time to open up to people.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Know that her anger and sadness are valid and that it needs to be expressed.
  • Work with her inner child about her mother’s leaving.
  • Take the opportunity to be open and honest.
  • Give herself as much time as she needs.
  • Write down how she would coach others in a similar situation.


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On some level, we all have a fear of exposure and being seen. Click To Tweet Often someone feeling not-judged is the biggest aha moment they can possibly have. Click To Tweet Whenever a reaction doesn’t match the circumstance in terms of severity, there is an inner-child trigger. Click To Tweet

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