This coaching call is about the difference between masculine energy and hypervigilance. Today’s caller, Jo, has been caring for her husband after a debilitating accident. She believes she is functioning only in her masculine energy and would like some balance, but her actions may be coming from a response to trauma she hasn’t fully processed. Christine offers guidance.

There is an unconscious, and sometimes conscious, expectation that masculine energy is supposed to be strong and be able to hold us. But, what masculine energy truly is, is taking initiative, moving in a linear way, being present, and holding for things. It is making quick decisions about things and being productive in certain ways.

Healthy masculine energy is NOT about being so busy and doing everything for everyone that we are depleted completely — That’s being hyper-vigilant. Hypervigilance is a response to trauma that makes us feel out of control. Because no one chooses trauma. It is completely out of our control. When we are hypervigilant, we are looking for a way to feel in control again. We think if we do and control everything, we can prevent expectation hangovers or more trauma.

If you’re trying to shift more into your feminine energy when you’re in hypervigilance, good luck because in order for you to shift into your feminine energy, you have to feel safe and if you are in hypervigilance, you do not feel safe.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Has there been a drastic change in your life you haven’t had time to process because you have had to go right into action?
• Do you often think you’re in your masculine when you are truly in hypervigilance?
• Are you someone that is so used to doing, you often don’t even know how to be?
• When it comes to surrender and accepting things, how are you with it? Can you let go or do you like to fight with reality?

Jo’s Question:

Jo is asking for guidance on how to prolong being in her feminine energy and relinquish her feelings of needing to be in control.

Jo’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Her husband was in a debilitating accident.
• She feels she shifted into her masculine after her husband’s accident.
• She likes being in her feminine but feels pulled out of it too often.
• She wants to relieve her husband’s pain.
• She does inner child work and meditation.
• She has a tendency to be a people pleaser.
• She has been a control freak in the past but wants to let go of it.
• She hasn’t done trauma-release work.
• Her father was strict and unpredictable.
• She does everything for others.
• She questions her self-worth.
• She wants to cure her husband’s pain.
• Her husband has accepted his physical condition.
• She is grieving and hasn’t fully processed the incident.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Realize she is being hypervigilant, not in her masculine.
• Find a somatic and trauma-release-work therapist.
• Have compassion for herself.
• Release her anger and trauma.
• Recalibrate her nervous system.
• Have conversations with her husband about creating polarity in their relationship.
• Accept where her husband is in his healing process.

Takeaways:

• Are you in your masculine energy or being hypervigilant?

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Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

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Tweetables:

Our need for control is a response to our trauma. Click To Tweet Healthy masculine energy is not about being busy and doing everything for everyone so that we become completely depleted. Click To Tweet Sometimes meditation can bypass raw emotions that need to be expressed. Click To Tweet