EP 418: Healing Your Relationship with Your Children with Gail

The essence of this coaching call is about healing a relationship with adult children. Today’s caller, Gail, is dealing with estrangement by her children since her marriage to their father broke up and her ex-husband passed away. She asks for guidance on how to find joy during a new chapter in her life and how she can reconnect with her children.

If you walk on eggshells, tiptoe around, or try to protect everyone else’s feelings, ask yourself if that is the most loving thing to do. Sometimes love can be messy and truth can be messy but walking on eggshells, pretending, and being a chameleon is not love.

Children need to know that their parents will fight for them and risk them being mad or pushing them away to have a relationship with them.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you have any children that you’re estranged from or that you have a rocky relationship with and would like to repair it?
  • “Should” you be excited about things in your life but you’re having a hard time accessing joy?
  •  Do you ever feel like you want to tell the truth about something but you can’t because you’re protecting someone else?

Gail’s Question:

Gail asks for guidance in getting back to joy while suffering from grief.

Gail’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her husband died after three months of them separating.
  • It’s been five years since her husband’s death.
  • She believes her adult children are suffering.
  • She feels numb.
  • She completed the Over It and On With It online course.
  • She is engaged to be married.
  • She is slowly rebuilding her relationship with her four children.
  • She fears her new relationship could jeopardize her relationship with her children.
  • She wants to respect her children’s wants but it feels unjust to her.
  • There is a religious component to the family disruption.
  • She takes intentional steps to rekindle her family relationship.
  • She has an internal dilemma about being a mother and a woman.
  • She doesn’t trust her intuition.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Write each of her children a letter sharing her feelings.
  • Become the leader of her family and tell her children the truth.
  • Get guidance from a family therapist.
  • She deserves joy and happiness.


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Truth delivered with love is important. Click To Tweet Children need to know that their parents are willing to fight for them. Click To Tweet Sometimes love can be messy. Click To Tweet

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