EP 441: Should You Stay in a Relationship and Keep Trying Even When You Feel You’ve Tried a Lot? With Kara

This coaching call is a beautiful example of when we are so in our heads that we cannot hear the truth of our intuition. Today’s caller, Kara, feels she is compatible with her partner but that no chemistry exists between them. She asks Christine for guidance in making the decision to stay or go.

If you are thinking about leaving a relationship, have you shifted and shown up in the best way possible? There is a difference between talking about what is wrong with your partner and the things you want them to change, and actually being the change that could encourage their transformation. When we become the change and our partner still doesn’t meet us, then it makes our decision-making much clearer.

If we keep going back and forth about something, we don’t have clarity or we fear dropping into clarity. When making a decision, does deciding one way or another provide you with relief? If you don’t experience relief, what is going through your mind, or what story are you telling yourself that keeps you from making a decision? When we don’t have clarity, part of us knows that our triggers and patterns are at play. When we take responsibility for our side and we clean up our side of the street, then we can make the decision with clarity.

And, ladies remember that feminine energy is more than being affectionate and being a vixen. That is surface-level feminine. True feminine energy is about leaning into being a queen, making self-honoring choices, and trusting our discernment.

Are you ready to heal your inner child, set intentions, and reclaim your peace, purpose, and joy? If so, begin your 10-week journey on February 29th. Go to ChristineHassler.com/reconnect or support@ChristineHassler.com. Participants also get access to a year of live, monthly group coaching calls. Get $500 off when you use the promo code “child”.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you trying to make a decision and you can do pro/con lists and talk yourself in or out of it?
  • Do you feel like you are over-masculine are over-feminine and you want to be more balanced?
  • When there’s tension or conflict in a relationship do you use “I” language or do you blame and project onto your partner, expecting them to change?
  • Is your changing, reacting, and responding bringing out change and transformation in your partner, or are you reinforcing the behavior that you don’t like and want to change?

Kara’s Question:

Kara doesn’t know if she should leave her relationship and is having difficulty hearing her intuition.

Kara’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her partner wants to work things out.
  • She has broken the relationship off several times.
  • She and her partner do shadow work.
  • They are compatible but have no chemistry.
  • She wants to trust her intuition but goes back and forth about it.
  • They spend a lot of time together.
  • She compares other relationships to hers.
  • She tries to justify her choice.
  • She creates emotional distance when there is a disagreement.
  • She is not relaxed in her relationship.
  • Her masculine energy comes through in relationship. 
  • She wants a man with healthy masculine energy.
  • She is comfortable in control.
  • She feels her relationship is a personal development course.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Stop the back-and-forth.
  • Consider the way she shows up in relationship.
  • Lean into her feminine and her discernment and make decisions from there.


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Feminine energy is more than being affectionate and the vixen. That is surface-level feminine. Feminine energy is more about leaning into being our inner queen and making self-honoring choices. and trusting our discernment. Click To Tweet Our intuition can be clear but then our minds start justifying our actions and creating pro/con lists, and it puts us in a place of paralysis. Click To Tweet If you are thinking about leaving a relationship, have you shifted and shown up in the best way possible? Click To Tweet

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