Like all relationships some friendships come with expiration dates. As we evolve, the people that surround us also change. Although this makes logical sense, growing apart from friends or ending a friendship that drains you isn’t easy on the emotional level. It can be confusing and often lonely.
I had several questions about how to handle challenging and changing friendships lately that I answer today’s vlog.
Are you too nice? That may seem like a strange question because most of us would think that being nice is a wonderful way to be. But sometimes we are too nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for love, kindness and generosity. Yet I’ve noticed that although niceness is very p.c., it isn’t always authentic.
We are often too nice when we want someone’s approval or acceptance. Or we long for someone to like us and think we are a “good person.” Or when we are in the presence of someone who intimidates us or is in authority position. Or when we just want to avoid confrontation. I’ve seen myself do this in romantic relationships, friendships and even business negotiations. The result? Externally I upheld the image of being a nice person yet internally I felt unfulfilled and like I settled for less that I deserved. I share more in today’s vlog.
Warning: You may be doing something that is really bad for you so my message today is muy importante! (I’m in Costa Rica leading my annual retreat here so I’m practicing mi Español!!)
My warning has to do with how you treat yourself. It is probably not news to you that most of us are extremely hard on ourselves. You know that being critical of yourself is not an act of love – so why do you still do it?
This is the question I answer in today’s vlog, as well as offer you a fast-acting tool to stop it.
It is so cool that we get to experience a wide range of emotions like joy, love, inspiration, gratitude and so many feelings that feel so yummy. But not all of our emotions feel super great, so what do we do with those?
Well the answer is NOT to suppress them or attempt to get out of them as quickly as possible through any kind of suppression, distraction, or numbing device. Our feelings have messages and mega healing opportunities so it’s important to actually feel them @christinhassler (Tweet this!).
But sometimes emotions come up at inconvenient times, like in the middle of your workday when a co-worker says something upsetting and you want to scream. Or at the grocery store when a song comes on that reminds you of an ex and you fight bursting into tears.
What do you do in those moments?
Well . . . you make a date with your feelings! I realize that may sound incredibly cheesy so hear me out as I explain why this is so important and how to do it in today’s vlog.