Maybe you have bought into one of these misunderstandings: If I love someone, I should make sure they are happy. If I love someone, it’s natural—even loving—to worry about them. If I love someone and they are hurting, I should try to save or change them.
We pair up certain behaviors with loving someone that are based more on fear than love. For instance, we people please because we are scared the people we love will be angry or abandon us if we don’t. We worry out of fear of that something bad may happen. We attempt to save or change someone from a fear-based judgment. We want to control someone else to quiet our fear of uncertainty.
And not only do we do these things in our relationship with others, we do them inside ourselves.
This week’s caller on the podcast, Amanda, wants to how to love herself without obsessing about things like calorie counting, her physical appearance, and working out. She has a misunderstanding that being so strict with herself is actually an act of self-care and love—but it’s not.
On Thursday I am opening the doors to my Inner Circle! This exclusive community is a way for you to receive consistent coaching, guidance and life tips from me. The number one reason I feel called to offer this program is because I see so many people take ten steps forward and then five steps back when it comes to personal growth.
I was the same way. I would do an awesome workshop or have an incredible session with my coach and feel AMAZING. And the epiphanies and changes I made would last for a while…sometimes even months.
But eventually I’d find myself backtracking, which was incredibly frustrating.
I finally stopped feeling like I was backtracking when I realized that change requires two main things: momentum and consistency.
Once I made a 100% commitment to always, yes ALWAYS, be working with a coach in some capacity AND be part of a community of like-minded people where I am held accountable…I stopped feeling like I was backtracking.
I love the week of Thanksgiving here in the States! Cultivating a consciousness of gratitude is a spiritual practice and MUST for anyone who is committed to living a life of love. Plus, when we are aware of what we do have, we are a lot less inclined to obsess about all the things we don’t (and have fewer expectation hangovers!).
My personal gratitude practice consists of an evening gratitude ritual that I have done for years. Every night before I go to bed, I write a list of things that happened that day that I am particularly grateful for. Things like a rockstar parking spot, magical moments of serendipity, a fabulous meal, a laugh with a friend, or noticing an old pattern or trigger come up that offers me an opportunity to work my process. My gratitude journal (which I share with you in the video) is also a wonderful way to keep a diary of my life. I love looking back through it to reflect on past moments and celebrate lessons and blessings.