A common question I receive is: “How do I keep up self-care practices like meditation, eating well, exercising, journaling, and so on?”
Well the most simplistic and accurate answer is: “just do it.” But I realize that is also a frustrating answer because just doing it isn’t always so easy – and there is a reason for that! In this week’s episode of Over It and On With It, I offer insight and ideas that will shift your experience with making self-care a habit.
If you intellectually know what to do in terms of self-care; however, you just are not doing it than you will relate to Helen, who I coach on the show. She is wondering why she isn’t doing things that she knows are good for her. She will go through spurts but then life gets busy and she goes back to old coping mechanisms. Sound familiar?
Consistent and quality self-care is harder than ever before because we are all sooooo busy and there are endless distractions. All you need is one glimpse at Facebook or Snapchat and all of a sudden an hour is gone.
You’ll appreciate the direction this call goes and my advice for making self-care feel more do-able. I give you super fun homework and permission to stop trying to do all those things you think you “should.”
If you do, you know how invaluable it is to your wellbeing.
If you don’t, you probably know you “should” but either cannot seem to start or stick to a regular practice.
There is tons of research that shows the positive impacts meditation has on our health, productivity, sleep, and even weight. We know it is a great way to calm anxiety and tap into our intuition but when it comes to actually doing it, we often face resistance. In today’s vlog I reveal the two biggest blocks to meditation (and they are not what you think they are) as well as give you tips for how to move beyond them.
We are all each others teachers and in ALL our relationships from family to colleagues to friends to romantic partners, there are going to be times when our buttons get pushed. When someone does something that affects you in a negative way, what is your response? Do you lash back and attempt to get even? Do you stuff your feelings away and stew in your upset? Do you stand strong in your opinion that you are right and they are wrong and wait for them to apologize? Or is it a combination of all three?
I recently served as someone’s button pusher after I made a request of him that he found upsetting. Caught off guard, the coach/nurturer in me immediately wanted to make it better. However, I know that the best thing to do when I’ve pushed someone’s buttons (which consequently push my own buttons of fearing that I am not liked) is to take responsibility for myself and give the other person space.
Fortunately he is someone who is committed to growth and took the time he needed to process what happened. When he called me the next day to explain how my request made him feel, what it triggered, share what he learned and make a request of me, it was done from an incredibly authentic and neutral place. There was no blame. That made it possible for me to really hear and understand, communicate vulnerably my experience, and be totally open and willing to meet his request.
This beautiful communication was possible because we both chose to take personal responsibility rather than taking things personally.
Are you concerned about what other people think of you and often make decisions based on what you think will please others?
Do you often withhold from sharing what you truly want, think or feel because of fear it may upset someone?
Are you often last on your list of priorities – or definitely not first?
People pleasing can range in severity from putting what others think before your own truth to being a complete doormat. No degree of people pleasing is a good thing but being a complete doormat is downright dangerous! The more you put others before your own needs, the more your own light starts to fade and you lose sight of yourself.
That is exactly what was beginning to happen to Shaun, my caller this week on Over it and On With podcast. Go here to listen to the episode.