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Two final gifts you MUST give before the holidays are over!

I hope you are enjoying the magic of this season and that your holidays are blessed with joy, peace and love. In my yoga class this morning, the teacher asked us how many of us had moments of absolute joy this year. Everyone raised his or her hand. Then she asked us how many of us had moments of struggle and incredible pain. Again, all hands were up. That is the human experience – it’s joy AND pain.

No matter what your holiday experience has been like, can you be at peace with your human experience and ALL it gifts you with?

From this place of gratitude, I’d like to offer you two gifts to give that are an absolute must this holiday season. Now that you have wrapped and unwrapped the physical gifts you have given and received, it is time to bring your gift giving to another level.

The first is a gift to give yourself that is the gift of an inner experience that cultivating this year would be a total game changer for you. What could you gift yourself with that would create different results in your life? What could you gift yourself with that would free you from your old story and the struggle and suffering that goes with it? Perhaps it is the gift of self-acceptance. Or the gift of embracing and expressing your creativity. Or the gift of positive thinking. Or the gift of being in the present moment instead of obsessing about the past or worrying about the future.

There are infinite gifts of an inner experience that you could give yourself – think of the one that would be most transformational. I noticed this year I indulged in comparing myself to others in various aspects of my life and it did not feel good! So I am giving myself the gift of freedom from comparison and truly owning and enjoying my unique gifts.

The second gift to give is an inner shift that would alter your relationship dynamic with the most challenging person in your life. Think of who really pushes your buttons and ask what inner experience you could cultivate that would transform the way YOU show up. Maybe it is forgiveness, which will free you from the resentment you carry into your interactions. Maybe it is a sense of humor that will lighten up how seriously you take the other person. This isn’t a gift to tell the other person about – it’s something you do inside yourself. I am giving a challenging person in my life the gift of unconditional love. Instead of expecting and wanting this person to be different and avoiding them because they are not, I am gifting them with truly accepting them for who they are. And I can tell you this has already created a shift in my interaction with them.

As this holiday season comes to an end, remember the most important gift you give yourself and others is how you show up in every moment.

Many blessings,


“God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” Voltaire

“A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca


What will end in your world today?

It is 12.21.12.  According to the Mayan calendar today was supposed to be the end of the world. Obviously we are all still here – whew! But none of us really thought the world was going to end and we are actually excited because today marks the end of an era.

12.21.21 marks the end of the world as we know it in that there is a certain field being created today that makes new paradigms, new ways of thinking, relating, creating, and being possible.  It’s a new era of possibility and I want you to take advantage of it!

Don’t let today go by just like any other day.  If your favorite store was having a 75% off sale, wouldn’t you take advantage of it? So take advantage of the amazing clearance opportunity the Universe is offering today by declaring what you want to end in your world. I suggest actually writing a list of what you’d like to put a stop to in your life.  Think about your beliefs, actions, habits, ways of being, and even relationships or situations you’d like to shift.

For instance . . .

Limiting beliefs that completely contradict what you want. Self-doubt. Self-criticism. Gossip. Lying. Toxic relationships. Patterns of numbing yourself through food, alcohol, shopping, watching TV, etc. Comparison. Blame. Stress. Resentment. Scarcity thinking. Isolation. Regret. Allowing fear to stop you. Complaining. Excuses, excuses, excuses.

It’s time to release the illusion that you are alone and open yourself up to love.

It’s time to end thoughts of scarcity and trust in the abundance of the Universe.

It’s time to stop being so freaking hard on yourself and start seeing yourself the way God sees you – as absolutely perfect just the way you are!!

It’s time to stop making excuses and start doing the things you dream about.

After you write your list of what you want to END on 12.21.12, burn it.  Or at the very least rip it up into tiny little pieces, throw it away and then take out the trash! Next light a candle, say a prayer of intention, and create a new list that describes the world you want to BEGIN to create today.

In this new era, who do you want to be? What does the fullest expression of YOU look like? If you stopped caring what other people think, how free would you feel? If you stopped fearing failure, what would you do?

Even with the tremendous energy that is present, nothing really changes until you change the world inside of you.  And you are not just doing this for you. Every time any of us makes a positive shift inside, we impact the world. We are all connected. Each one of us matters. You matter. How will you change the world by changing the world inside you?


“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” Richard Bach

Sandy Hook – What can we do?

I was sitting in the lobby of a doctor’s office when I heard the news. A woman walked in visibly upset and began talking to the receptionist about the terrible tragedy. She then told me the details of what just happened at Sandy Hook.

Immediately I felt profound sadness and unbearable compassion picturing the innocent souls who were taken so violently and imagining the pain their families are enduring. Like many of you, I felt helpless and powerless. Yet I know that Love is powerful so I continue to send my love and prayers to the community of Sandy Hook.

All of us will remember where we were when we heard the news of this tragedy just like we did on 9/11. During times like these it’s natural to reconnect to the people (not things) we love that are truly most important in our lives. So I hope we also remember our response to this tragedy and continue to focus on what really matters.

Yesterday was the first day I watched any kind of news coverage about the shooting, which ultimately inspired me to write about it. What struck me most was the anger and blame I saw in all the coverage. I understand this is a horrific tragedy and outrage is to be expected. I had to process my own anger about it as well. I also understand that outrage often motivates people to make changes so that this type of tragedy can be prevented in the future.

But outrage without love doesn’t create healing.

In a tragedy like this, love is what is needed. The families and communities that have been most intimately affected by this event need our love, not just our outrage. They need our compassion, not our analysis of the events. Questions like, “How could this happen? Who would do such a thing? What was going on in the mind and life of the shooter?” are valid and natural questions but what else can we do?

My invitation to you is to continue to send Love and Light to everyone affected for their Highest Good. The consciousness that created this tragedy comes from very low levels of anger, blame, resentment, pain, and darkness. So if you want to make a difference, make it by elevating your level of consciousness. Rather than talking about the shooter, engage in prayer. Rather than trying to make sense of what happened, visualize a column of Light descending over the community of Sandy Hook.

What I have been doing in my meditation practice is bringing my awareness into my heart and feeling into the infinite love, compassion and peace that are present there. I have been visualizing sending this energy (I see it in the form of a pinkish light) to the families and community of Newton. I encourage you to try this or find your own way to move out of feeling outraged and helpless and into feelings of love and compassion. Events like this are a call not just to change policies and laws, but also to change the level of our consciousness.

I’ve posted below the names and ages of the precious children and adults who were lost in this tragedy. I invite you to read the names one-by-one, taking each into your heart, and sending Light to their soul, their families and loved ones for the Highest Good of All Concerned.

Charlotte Bacon, 6

Daniel Barden, 7

Olivia Engel, 6

Josephine Gay, 7

Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 6

Dylan Hockley, 6

Madeleine F. Hsu, 6

Catherine V. Hubbard, 6

Chase Kowalski, 7

Jesse Lewis, 6

James Mattioli, 6

Grace McDonnell, 7

Emilie Parker, 6

Jack Pinto, 6

Noah Pozner, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6

Jessica Rekos, 6

Avielle Richman, 6

Benjamin Wheeler, 6

Allison N. Wyatt, 6

Mary Sherlach, 56

Victoria Soto, 27

Anne Marie Murphy, 52

Lauren Rousseau, 30

Dawn Hochsprung, 47

Rachel Davino, 29

There is nothing I or anyone else could say to make this “better.” My prayers continue to be with us all during a time when our nation is being called together in the name of peace, safety, change, healing and love.

With love,


“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’  No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.” Dalai Lama XIV


Dear God,

We come to You with broken hearts, surrendering the catastrophe that has occurred today in Connecticut. We cannot comprehend the darkness that led to this, or the suffering of those who have loved and lost. They are both too big. But in You, dear God, there are Answers we cannot surmise and Light we cannot summon by ourselves. We present to you our brokenness, and the horror and pain of those who grieve. May those who died find joy in the immortal realms. May those who mourn them be comforted in this hour of their agony.  And may our prayers and actions be guided by You, dear God, to create a world where this occurs no more. Amen” Marianne Williamson

How to blame effectively

Last week I attended Date with Destiny, which was my first Tony Robbins event. Tony is truly masterful at what he does and I had the extra bonus of going with an awesome group of friends. One powerful takeaway that I wanted to share with you is about how to blame effectively.

Tony talks a lot about our stories, which are created by the meaning we give to events in our life. Our stories usually have a heaping dose of blame mixed into them. We blame others for hurting us, making us feel a certain way, not behaving the way we wanted them to, etc. Blame may be comforting because it justifies our hurt; however, it is completely paralyzing because it makes us a victim of our life rather than a co-creator.

Tony’s advice was that if you are going to blame, at least do so effectively by blaming them for all the lessons and blessings that came from what they did or didn’t do. This resonates with what I believe and teach, which is that EVERY person in our life serves our growth. The Uni-verse makes no accidents in terms of who the cast of characters are in our life story . . . BUT we make the mistake of casting too many villains rather than angels in our own story. 

For example, when my ex-fiance broke up with me unexpectedly six months before our wedding, I was incredibly hurt and villainized him for it. How could he do that? Didn’t he love me? He made a promise to me; why didn’t he keep it? Blame. Blame. Blame. And you know where that kind of blame got me? Absolutely NOWHERE. I stewed in my depression and heartache until I learned how to blame him effectively. Today I blame him for teaching me how to love myself. I blame him for having the courage to end something that wasn’t right, when I didn’t. I blame him for inspiring me to share my story with others. I blame him for being the catalyst for my awakening. I blame him for being an angel in the story of my life.

The dictionary defines blame as: to place responsibility for something; being the cause or source of something. Can you redefine blame in a way that supports the story of your life that you want to tell? Are you ready to see that ALL people in your life have been responsible for your growth and awakening?

Today my invitation to you is to reach out to someone in your life who you have been negatively blaming and blame them effectively. Call them. Write them an email. Or at the very least, write them a letter in your journal. Share the following things:

  1. What for and how you have been blaming them in the past?
  2. Thank them for the role they have played in your life and admit that you have been mistaken in holding them responsible for any of your suffering.
  3. Forgive them for any judgments or resentments you’ve been carrying around (remember forgiveness does not mean you condone what happened, but rather that you are letting go of the pain you have been carrying around about it).
  4. Blame them effectively by sharing what you have learned from them, what qualities they have strengthened in you, and how they have been an inspiration in your life.

If you continue redefining blame as: to place responsibility for something THAT CATAPULTED YOUR GROWTH; being the cause or source of something AMAZING THAT OFFERS YOU TREMENDOUS GIFTS, who else can you blame effectively?

You can blame the person who you thought abandoned you as the reason you are so committed to being there for the people in your life. You can blame anyone who you felt abused you as the inspiration for embarking on your spiritual path. You can blame the guy who didn’t call you back after a great date for showing his character early and liberating you from future suffering. You can blame the person who didn’t hire you for a job for moving you one step closer to the position that is more aligned for you. You can even blame the person who cut you off in traffic for giving you an opportunity to practice patience and non-reactivity.

Freedom from suffering comes from giving a different meaning to the things we latch onto as the cause of our suffering. So if you are going to play the blame game, win it!!



“I praise loudly, I blame softly.” Catherine the Great

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” Albert Ellis