Tag Archives: boundaries

WTF is going on, the Mother/Daughter relationship and Ghosting

First I want to reassure those of you who feel like you are going through a really challenging time that you are not alone. Many of us are dealing with intense challenges and expectation hangovers. This is NOT the time to spiritual bypass or jump to the silver lining. This IS the time to dive deep and explore what the Universe is teaching you or calling you toward.

Things are really intensifying as this year ends and Mercury begins to come out of retrograde so hang on!  I recorded a coaches corner for you to help you navigate this time and also take you through a guided meditation to deal with the uncertainty.

Go here to listen

And tis the season for family drama! If you have a family member who you tend to be particularly triggered by, then I highly suggest listening to episode 118 where I coach Kristen on making self-honoring choices when it comes to her relationship with her mother. A self-honoring choice is an honest choice rooted in truth that comes from love – it is NOT selfish. Often setting boundaries with relatives is challenging because we are afraid of upsetting them. However, if we do not make self-honoring choices and set boundaries, we end up resenting them.

Go here to listen to Ep 118

Finally, have you ever been ghosted? Or have you ghosted someone? Ghosting is when someone you were in communication with all of a sudden totally disappears with zero explanation. Most often it happens in dating. You are seeing someone and texting frequently and then all of a sudden . . . crickets. Ghosting can also happen in friendship. It is incredibly painful and frustrating because you are left with no reason other than the reasons you make up in your head (which are usually not very healthy!). Listen in to this Coaches Corner as I explain ghosting from a psychological point of view and give you tips to get over being ghosted.

Go here to listen 

I hope you enjoy these episodes and I look forward to brining you more inspiring and informative content in 2018. 

Enjoy this holiday season and remember that this time of year can stir up a lot. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself and others. Take advantage of the sweetness and magic that is in the air. Let go of stressing about stuff that really does NOT matter. And remember the biggest gift you can give and receive is love.

Sending you so much love and light,

Christine

EP 102: How to Know if it’s Time to Leave a Relationship with Renae

EP102v1

This episode is about making self-serving decisions. Today’s caller, Renae, is married, and questioning whether or not her marriage has reached its expiration date. As you can hear in the call, Renea intuitively knows what she should do but she needs to be empowered so she can take action.

Do all relationships where one person is on the growth path, and the other person isn’t, have an expiration date? Not necessarily. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to know when it’s time to leave a relationship. When there is abuse, addiction, or toxic behavior, or the other person is unwilling to invest in the relationship, you have to be honest about why you are still in this type of relationship, and whether it is really serving your highest good.

When it is time to evaluate a relationship, or when it’s time to end it, be honest with yourself and listen to your intuition. You may already know the answer. When we seek counsel with others, we want to hear from someone else what we may already know. Sometimes we are looking for someone to give us permission.

If you are a parent who feels they may have messed up their kids, your fear is not helping you or them. What does help is to help them learn how to make self-honoring decisions. You should start equipping them with the personal development tools and mindset to help them break generational patterns, and to not personalize the situation. Children shouldn’t feel that anything was their fault.

And, actions speak louder than words. We must give someone the dignity of the process but honor our own boundaries. Don’t be a victim. Consider Al-Anon, and find other people you can connect to. Don’t bond over wounds, but find other people who understand your background. It will help empower you.

If you are looking for support, encouragement and love, my Personal Mastery Course,
Over It and On With It  is the most comprehensive virtual coaching program I have. You receive 6-weeks of personalized coaching with me, guided meditations, videos, and I engage with you on Facebook Lives and in group coaching calls. This course is starting in October, and it’s only offered once per year.

Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you questioning your current relationship? Are you in, or did you grow up in, an abusive environment?
  • Do you know what to do, but wish someone would give you permission to do it? Have you been attempting to change someone else, but realize the most important person to focus on right now is yourself?

Renae’s Question:

Renae wants to know if she should stay in her current long-term relationship.

Renae’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up in an environment of physical and verbal abuse.
  • Her husband is verbally abusive to her and her children.
  • She doesn’t focus on herself.
  • Her 15-year-old daughter wants her to get a divorce.
  • She’s afraid to make the wrong decision.
  • She recognizes she needs to change her life and to give her kids a different environment.
  • She’s known what to do, but needed validation to move forward.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to make a decision to break patterns and to change things.
  • She needs to start documenting abuse.
  • She needs to stop beating herself up, and practice self-love and self-care.
  • She needs to believe in herself, and give herself positive encouragement.

Takeaways:

  • If you are questioning your relationship, ask yourself, “What is this relationship teaching me? What patterns do I need to complete? Could it be time to go? What do I need to do to make a shift?
  • If you are a parent, and feel that your children have seen things in your life or marriage that have been tough and they are struggling, get them help! You can’t be their therapist, counselor, or coach. They may need an objective person they can talk to, and to give them new tools.
  • My Inner Circle community can be a great place to find the love and support from people who know what you are feeling.

Sponsor:

Daily Harvest — Organic Superfoods delivered to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get three free Daily Harvest cups.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Course

Tweetables:

Make decisions for yourself that are the most honoring, loving, and based in… Click To Tweet

When we live with people who are abusive or addicts, we tend to have a low… Click To Tweet

Don’t take action from a place of guilt or fear, take action from a place of self-love or… Click To Tweet

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How to set (and keep!) healthy boundaries

Research has proven that people who feel connected to others live longer, healthier lives. Creating and maintaining healthy relationships is essential to our well-being, yet not always easy . . .

Sometimes we have to set boundaries with people, which can be hard to do (especially if you relate to being a people-pleaser).

What exactly are healthy boundaries? When do we set them? And how do we do it in a way that is loving?

These are the questions I explore in today’s vlog. I also reveal the #1 reason why so many of us know we should set a boundary with someone but do not follow through with it.

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