Tag Archives: confidence

Coaches Corner: How to Stop Feeling Like Shit with Andrea Owen

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Life coach. Author. Hellraiser. Andrea Owen is passionate about empowering women to value themselves and fiercely love who they are.

She helps high-achieving women let go of perfectionism, control, and isolation and choosing courage and confidence instead.

We talk about the dangers of numbing out, why playing the blame game is only a way to off load pain, and how to have healthier relationships.

You can learn more at www.yourkickasslife.com and get her new book “How to Stop Feeling Like Shit” at www.yourkickasslife.com/htsfls

Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

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EP 115: Friendship Expiration Dates and Building Confidence with Claire

 

EP115v2This episode is about vanquishing self-criticism, letting things go that no longer serve you, and how to get what you want from life.

We are not always good friends to ourselves and it can be reflected back to us in our friendships — like it is today in my call with Claire. One of Claire’s friendships has just reached an expiration date and she is learning valuable lessons from it.

Other people can be mirrors for us and often, it takes someone else to wake us up. If a friend treats us bad enough it causes us to look inside ourselves to understand what it is showing us. It can show us the kind of friend we are being to ourselves.

Don’t stay in an unhealthy friendship or one that doesn’t serve either of you. We tend to hold on to friendships just a little longer because we don’t have to see the person as much. We justify putting up with it or we think we need to stay in the friendship because of the history. Or, we don’t have the guts to end it because we don’t want to upset somebody.

When we have a fierce inner critic it doesn’t compartmentalize. It doesn’t cheer us on in our career and then pick us apart physically. It is pervasive in all aspects of our lives. A fierce inner critic can impact our confidence. We can take something personally to our detriment or we can take it personally toward our growth.

To get what you want, you have to believe that what you want is out there. Your longing is your psychic knowing.

One of my favorite ways to empower people is teaching retreats. So, in March 2018 I am hosting my annual signature retreat. It is an intense 3-day, women-only spring event with only 20 spaces available. This is the last time I will lead the retreat as I am training others. For early-bird pricing or to find out more e-mail Jill@christinehassler.com or check out Spring Retreat.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you compartmentalizing your life? Are you stuck in one area that may be caused by an unresolved issue in another area of your life?
  • If you talked to or treated your friends like you do to yourself would you have any friends?
  • Is your confidence down? Do you find yourself on the receiving end of criticism from other people?
  • Do you have any friendships that have passed their expiration date and are no longer healthy for you to continue?

Claire’s Question:

Claire wants to get unstuck in her life after an emotional falling out with friends.

Claire’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She found a friend’s comments inappropriate.
  • She can be critical of herself and lack self-confidence.
  • Her friend is a mirror of how she treats herself.
  • Questioning herself has impacted her career momentum.
  • She goes through cycles of emotional sensitivity.
  • She doesn’t enjoy certain aspects of her job.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should leverage this experience to perpetuate her growth.
  • She should write down 50 things about herself she is grateful for.
  • She should write out a description of what she wants from her work.
  • She should collect evidence about why the job she wants does exist.

Takeaways:

  • Do a friendship inventory. Look at the friends in your life and ask yourself ‘Is this an aligned friendship? Has this friendship passed its expiration date and is it time to complete this relationship and move on?’
  • How can you be a better friend to yourself? Start being kind to yourself.
  • Write a detailed list of what you want. Get a picture in your mind and take action.
  • Make a list of 50 things you are grateful for.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Tweetables:

Don’t use self-criticism as a motivational tool.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet It’s hard to believe in our dreams when we internalize other people’s… Click To Tweet Coaches, drop your agenda. The best way to be an amazing coach is to listen and follow the line of energy that comes… Click To Tweet

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How to feel more confident

“How do I feel more confident?”

This is one of the most common questions I get as a coach. Self-doubt and criticism seem to be as common as breathing.  We know it’s painful to doubt and criticize ourselves but we still seem to do it.

So how do we change it? How do we feel more confident?  These are the questions I answer in this week’s podcast.

Developing confidence requires a combo of inner and outer shifts. On the inner level confidence comes from radical self-acceptance.  That means letting go of perfectionism and caring about what other people think of you.  It means not making your acceptance conditional upon achieving a certain goal, losing a certain amount of weight or having the approval or acceptance from someone else.  It means really getting that NO ONE is perfect. I repeat NO ONE!

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EP 66: How to Feel More Confident and Take Action with Teisha

EP66v1Confidence is not something you can develop just by sitting in your house, thinking about all the things you will do when you feel more confident. Confidence is developed by going out and doing those things. Just like we gain courage by feeling fear, and then taking action anyway. We begin to feel more confident, when we actually do things we feel insecure about.

In today’s coaching session with Teisha, she would like to know how she can gain more confidence, and how she can truly believe she is a prize. We also discover why confidence has been a struggle for her up until now. She wasn’t ready to learn the lesson of confidence. Having an understanding of our past is so important to move us forward.

During our session, Teisha acknowledged she is safe. That was her key elementary lesson. After recognizing it, her entire energy shifted. She was able to release the judgment of not feeling more confident. It’s hard to develop a new quality, when we are judging ourselves so harshly about not being good at it.

Coaches, managers, parents, and teachers take note — I got super specific with Teisha about the action steps she was committing to. When walking someone through behavior changes, you want to help them with clear, measurable steps they feel truly committed to.

Is avoiding short-term pain preventing you from long-term happiness and fulfillment? What feels worse — experiencing failure and/or rejection, or never stepping into your full potential? Failure is not bad. Failure is necessary if you want to learn, grow, change, and get the things you want from life. So is perceived rejection; if you spend your life avoiding nos, you will never get yeses.

Would you like a behind the scenes look into all of my #lifehacks and to join my Inner Circle? The Inner Circle is a membership community where you get access to one-on-one coaching calls, my guided meditations and visualizations, and lifestyle practices.

Also, I will be in Australia for a Business Training/Mastermind on personal and professional development. This training is perfect for you if you are a health coach, a life coach or entrepreneur.  You could benefit from a session if you are dealing with fear, are getting in your own way, or are ready to take your business to the next level. Send an email to Jill@Christinehassler.com ASAP, for more information.

Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Would you like to have more confidence? Do you spend more time thinking about the things you would like to do, than actually doing them?
  • Are you terrified of rejection and failure?
  • Did you grow up not feeling safe, loved, or seen?
  • How are you at keeping your word with yourself? When you commit to something, do you actually do it?

Teisha’s Question:

Teisha is constantly doubting herself, and would like to know how she can get more self-confidence.

Teisha’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her self-doubt serves her by protecting her from the pain of failure.
  • She has a lot of ‘what if’ questions.
  • She didn’t feel safe growing up, but has kept herself safe as an adult.
  • She will take action and go to a meetup group event, apply for employment outside of her comfort zone, and join a yoga class.
  • She wants to be part of a movement to change perceptions about women and work.
  • She knows she is a prize and a great person with a good heart.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should be curious about the people she encounters.
  • She should be honest and vulnerable when she meets new people.
  • She should give herself compliments and really mean them.
  • She should ask herself if it serves her to believe the lies she told herself.
  • She should give herself the spiritual and physical gift of yoga.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Is there something you need to feel or experience, before stepping into confidence? Can you accept you are ready to move to the next lesson? Can you see you’ve done what you needed to do, and are ready for the next step?
  • Write down a list of all the unique qualities and gifts that make you, you.
  • Get out of your comfort zone. Do things you may not be good at, or that may be embarrassing.
  • Commit to taking action steps to create the feeling and experience of confidence. Make the steps measurable, specific, and give yourself a timeline.
  • Consider joining my Inner Circle, where developing confidence will be an upcoming project.

Sponsor:
Audible – Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. I’m reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Why not make this book your first download?

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Expectation Hangover
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Christine Hassler Free E-book
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Jill@christinehassler.com

Tweetables:
Being self-conscious and judging yourself creates separation. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Men will apply for a job if they feel 60% qualified, while women need to feel 100% qualified… Click To Tweet If you spend your life avoiding nos you will never get yeses. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

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