EP135 (1)

This call is about is about procrastination and self-sabotage. Today’s caller, Angela, believes she puts things off and sabotages herself but as you will hear in the call it is really about her feeling safe and her fear of being seen.

We don’t sabotage ourselves or procrastinate because we are weak or unmotivated. There is some payoff that keeps us safe.

No matter how much we want something in our present-day self and no matter how much we are committed to a mission, if some part of us thinks that accomplishing our mission is a threat to our survival, then our mission takes a back burner to the survival instinct that is keeping us safe.

Sometimes it’s the people who have felt different who make the biggest difference. If you felt different, alone, like you didn’t fit in or that you didn’t belong, consider it an important part of your journey to making a difference. The difference you make may be in a big way as a coach or a teacher or it may be in a more intimate way. You may be a different kind of parent, employee, or citizen. We all make differences in a unique and special way. Often, it is the struggles that made us feel different that prepare us to make the difference we are here to make.

Our higher wisdom will always call us toward people, pets, and opportunities that give us the opportunity to embody and express the qualities we don’t think we have but do have.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you a procrastinator? Do you put things off or try to perfect them and hold off on getting things out there?
  • Do you find yourself self-sabotaging? Do you take five steps forward but then four steps back?
  • Do you deal with anxiety? Especially when it comes to being seen.
  • Growing up did you feel different like you didn’t fit in and all you wanted to do was be normal?

Angela’s Question:

Angela wants to know how to move past her repeating patterns of procrastination and self-sabotage.

Angela’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She feels anxious about being seen.
  • She doesn’t believe in herself.
  • She is embarking on a career as a health coach.
  • She lost both parents at a young age.
  • She didn’t feel safe as a child.
  • She didn’t feel “normal.”
  • She felt ashamed of her family.
  • She is self-conscious.
  • Her inner child doesn’t feel safe.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to make herself feel safe.
  • She needs to discover her inner mother.
  • She should become compassionate with herself.
  • She should learn to be present with herself.
  • She should sign up for an improv class.
  • She should write her parents an “I wish” letter.
  • She should redefine what being safe means to her.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • If you engage in procrastination and self-sabotaging behavior, look at the payoff you receive from it. When you find the payoff, you can figure out how to get the same payoff in a healthy, more updated way.
  • If you are afraid to be seen because you don’t feel safe, redefine safety. Make sure your definition of safety includes other people.
  • If you had parents you feel were physically, mentally, or emotionally disabled in any way, consider why your soul picked them to be your parents.
  • Do improv or something that gets you seen and out of your comfort zone.


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