This coaching session is about sexuality and freedom of sexual expression. Frankie feels shame about who he truly is and who he is attracted to. Shame is one of the most painful feelings we experience as humans because it reinforces the illusion of separation, makes us feel like we don’t belong and can’t be who we truly are. It reinforces doubts about self-worth because we think there is something wrong with us that we need to hide or keep secret. So, if shame is something you deal with in any aspect of your life I encourage you to be present as you watch or listen to this episode.
To shift and heal shame it is necessary to bring judgments and secrets out into the light. Talk about them, and share them. You can’t free yourself from shame sitting in your house alone journaling. You have to speak to people about it. Have the courage to share what is true for you. Self-express, take a risk and even if you are judged — no more hiding. Filling ourselves up with love and compassion will allow us not to take things personally when we are judged for being who we are.
When other people judge, ridicule, or shame us it is out of their own self-protection. Their own unresolved issues are being triggered. It comes out as mean, aggressive energy. Don’t personalize it. The more you personalize it the more it reinforces shame. Greet it with compassion and find your tribe of people who do accept you.
And, we have a lot we need to heal and shift when it comes to sexuality, sexual expression, and the freedom to love who we want to love. In times when you feel ashamed or alone, elevate your perspective and look at the divine assignment from a higher altitude. It’s a bog mission to shift the collective. The more people who shift these paradigms with love the more they are going to shift.
People light up when shame is lifted!
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- Was there a time in your life where you felt bullied or ostracized? Do you still hold on to it and allow it to keep you separate? Are you willing to reframe it?
- Were you born into a family, community or a set of religious beliefs that conditioned you into beliefs you are not sure are yours?
- Do you feel like the black sheep of the family and are you scared to be who you are because of judgment?
- Are you scared to fully self-express and to be who you are because you don’t want to be judged?
- Do you internalize what people say about you?
- Are you scared to be who you are when it comes to your sexual expression?
- Are you ashamed to love who you want to love?
Frankie wants guidance on how he can truly free himself from shame.
Frankie’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- He is super involved in his Christian church.
- He is attracted to men.
- He separates himself in groups.
- He has been bullied and judged in school.
- He finds comfort in God.
- He repressed his sexuality.
- He was conditioned to believe his feelings were wrong.
- He is questioning himself.
- He wants to make an impact in the world.
- He heard a message from God that there was nothing wrong with him.
- He knows he has come into this world as a spiritual warrior of love.
- He understands he needs to radically love himself.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- He needs to create a place of acceptance and compassion inside of himself.
- He needs to not take things personally and shouldn’t repress his feelings.
- He needs to activate discomfort in others.
- He needs to forgive himself for his inner judgments.
- He needs to reinforce his new beliefs with ‘I am’ statements.
- When he feels shame he should recognize it as his alarm system.
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