This episode is about how to disempower your inner critic and use acknowledgment to motivate yourself forward. Today’s caller, Katrina, has a lot of old stories from her past about having to do it all on her own. She is in a place where she wants to move forward but she is also feeling a lot of overwhelm. There were a lot of different directions I could have focused on but I honed in on two key areas, acknowledging herself and asking for help from others.
When you feel stuck, it may not be the best time to dive deep into your past. You need to look first at what is keeping you stuck and how you can move forward so you can start to gain momentum.
Using our inner critic as a form of motivation is effective in that it gets us to do things. If you are super hard on your body, you’ll maybe eat less or go to the gym more; it kind of works. If you are hard on yourself in terms of you are not doing enough or you are not where you should be maybe that will motivate you to do more. It’s effective in terms of getting things done but not really getting the things done that are fulfilling to us because it’s unhealthy and not sustainable.
If we are constantly using self-judgment to move forward we re-enforce the dysfunctional unhealthy relationship with ourselves and the more dysfunctional relationships we have with ourselves, the more likely we are to have unhealthy, unsatisfying, unfulfilling, even dysfunctional relationships with others.
Find time throughout the day to interrupt your inner critic, to be proud of yourself and to acknowledge yourself. How we silence the inner critic is not to shame it, not to judge it, but to have our voice of compassion, our voice of acknowledgment be louder and more consistent that the inner critic is.
You need more positive self-talk and more help and support from others so it doesn’t feel as if you are doing life alone.
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- Do you ever struggle with follow through? You take a few steps but then get discouraged and lose momentum.
- Are you hard and critical of yourself and use it to motivate yourself?
- When it comes to asking for help, would you rather just do things yourself because you don’t want to be a burden?
Katrina is longing to make progress in her life and she doesn’t believe her old ways will get her there.
Katrina’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She never had a mentor to show her the ropes.
- She always went headstrong into her goals.
- She has four kids at home to care for.
- She felt she has been paralyzed for years.
- She doesn’t take time in her life to acknowledge herself.
- Her entire adult life has been about taking care of others.
- She never had a self-discovery process.
- She is struggling in her relationship with her two oldest children.
- She drank for several years but has quit.
- Her inner critic beats her up.
- She has a low-level of self-worth.
- She feels like she is in quicksand when trying to build momentum.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to acknowledge herself and be proud of herself.
- She needs to reparent herself to shift her limiting beliefs about her not being enough.
- She needs to write out what her ideal mentor would be.
- Acknowledge yourself consistently throughout the day.
- Look at your motivation, are you feeling inspired are you moving toward something with kind words and affirming thoughts?
- Listen to podcasts or other things that help you feel supported and inspired.
- Ask for help. Be vulnerable and persistent.
- Join my Personal Mastery Course.
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Tweetables:Whatever your story is now, it doesn’t have to be your story in the future. Click To Tweet The more we lean into compassion and acknowledgment, the less airtime our inner critic gets. Click To Tweet When we don’t have a daily practice of self-forgiveness or speaking kindly to ourselves, we get leaky and irritable with ourselves and others. Click To Tweet