EP 290: Facing and Loving Our Fears with Mikaela

This episode is about loving our inner child and making them feel safe. Today’s caller, Mikaela, has a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety stemming from the chaos that surrounded her in her childhood home. She wants to feel safe and be seen. This call is great support for any of you who feel fear even if it isn’t reasonable for a situation. Or, those of you who are confused about how to connect to your inner child.

For parents or anybody who wants to be a parent, it is very important you continue to parent, or start to parent your inner child when you have children. When someone who had a difficult childhood has a child, they become a great parent to their child. Much better than the parents they had. But it can activate their inner child because their inner child wants to know why they are not receiving the same love and attention from them. Our inner children can act up and act out.

Parenting our inner child does not take anything away from our children. It actually gives to them because our children are unconsciously learning from us all the time. When we are parenting ourselves well, they feel that. And, in return, we are a better parent to them. We are not triggered as much by our children when we are parenting our inner child.

Remember, we do not want to be anxious about our anxiety. We do not want to be scared about our fear. Because when we are anxious about our fear and anxiety it becomes worse.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you ever have a big fear that comes up but it does not quite match the situation?
  • When fear overcomes you, is it hard to calm down and break free from it?
  • Did you grow up in a house full of chaos where you didn’t feel safe?
  • Did you or do you ever just want to hide and be invisible?

Mikaela’s Question:

Mikaela has feelings of inadequacy and fear. She would like guidance on how to become calm and free herself of those feelings.

Mikaela’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • There was a lot of chaos in her childhood home.
  • Her father was an abusive alcoholic.
  • She tried to make herself invisible.
  • She has tremendous fear.
  • No one ever recognized how scared she was.
  • She wanted someone to comfort her and make her feel safe.
  • She feels grief for herself as a child.
  • She compares herself to others.
  • She feels robbed of her childhood.
  • She is self-conscious.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Connect to her inner child to make her feel seen and safe.
  • Visualize her adult self removing her inner child from the chaos.
  • Acknowledge and honor her grief.
  • Forgive herself for any misunderstandings.


  • If you have consistent levels of fear or anxiety that don’t match a situation, it is an alarm bell being activated or triggered. Instead of trying to calm yourself, experiment with following the feeling in a soft, loving way.
  • Doing inner child work doesn’t mean we re-experience and relive traumatic events. It means we grieve with the little one who is activated and let them express while being compassionate with them.
  • Invite your inner child to live in the present with you, not the past.
  • Get access to Inner Child Workshop recordings by emailing Jill@christinehassler.com.


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Grief becomes a ghost we constantly feel unless we grieve it. Click To Tweet An abandoned inner child triggers fear in us. Click To Tweet It is never too late to have a good childhood by keeping our inner child activated within us. Click To Tweet

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