EP 436: What to do When Guilt and Grief Go Together with Michelle

This coaching call is about grief and guilt about past choices. Today’s caller, Michelle, is doing her best to navigate through the guilt and shame she feels about a decision she made. This is a beautiful conversation that can be triggering for a lot of reasons. Please listen with an open heart, open mind, and compassion. We all can relate on some level to making decisions we regret, or are not proud of, or that we feel shame or guilt around.

With any choice, it is easier to look into the past from where we are now and evaluate the choice and wish we had done something differently. We have an amazing ability to judge and punish ourselves for a decision we made in the past. When truly we were making the best decision we could at the time.

If you have shame, guilt, or regret over a choice you made, how is that serving you? What is the guilt doing? How much longer do you want to punish yourself?

Eventually, we have to let the guilt go and get to forgiveness because unless you have a time machine there is no way to change it. The only thing we can do is move forward.

When a person, especially a mother, is taking care of their health and making decisions that are most in alignment with their truth, it benefits their child.

Journey to Joy is a free three-day inner child workshop with Christine and Stefanos on February 6th ‒ 8th, 2024. Send an email to jill@christinehassler.com to get more information or go to ChristineHassler.com/joy to sign up.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Have you made a choice that you have shame or guilt about?
  • Are you trying to justify a decision you have made?
  • Is there a part of you that doesn’t feel safe and secure?
  • Can you get out of your head, your beliefs, or your judgments and allow your heart to open to feel what you need to feel?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle is asking for guidance on how to release the grief she feels about terminating her pregnancy.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Michelle terminated her unexpected pregnancy last year.
  • She felt she was abandoning her inner child.
  • Her young-woman energy was not ready to have a child.
  • She feels unworthy, unsafe, and insecure.
  • She wants one day to step into motherhood but wants to release her grief first.
  • She knows the pregnancy came into her life for a reason.
  • She knows she made the best decision for her.
  • She’s been trying to connect with the soul because she didn’t during her pregnancy.
  • She was not ready to be a mother.
  • She knows she is worthy but finds it difficult to embody it.
  • She wants to let go of things that don’t serve her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • Know that taking care of ourselves is the best thing for our children.
  • It is time to deal with her inner child wound.
  • Grieve without the story and the justification.
  • Ask the child what it was there to teach her.
  • Create safety and security for herself.
  • Check out Byron Katie’s “The Work.”
  • She is worthy of love.
  • Trust her decisions.
  • Join the Journey to Joy inner child workshop.
  • Prepare to consciously conceive with love.


  • Where are you not making self-honoring choices in the name of love?


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The most important thing we can do as mothers is choose ourselves and take care of ourselves. Because that serves our children the best. Click To Tweet Insecurity patterns can be powerful in our subconscious. Click To Tweet Safety and security are never found in anyone or anything else. We only find it within ourselves. Click To Tweet

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